Essay!! Would you revise it?

[lucakun]

Hi everybody.
I have a new essay.
This is the exam task:
'' Playing computer games is a waste of time. ''

Most people believe that computer games are just a waste of time and they bring only disadvantages. In fact some games are full of blood, violence, sex, which are not appropriate for children. In addition, playing compulsively you can become addicted to them isolating yourself from any form of social contact.

However, a few games can be a useful and interesting tool for children to learn something in a different way, that might bore them in the textbooks. For instance, history and geography games, where you have to fill in the missing word.

Personally, I think that playing computer games can sometimes be a funny pastime, without overdoing it. Sadly, nowadays this amusement has become a very worryng trend. To counter this hurtful habit, there are many other things to do, such as doing outdoor sports, reading or something else.

[februar]

[QUOTE=lucakun;814349]Hi everybody.
I have a new essay.
This is the exam task:
'' Playing computer games is a waste of time. ''

Most people believe that computer games are just a waste of time and they bring only disadvantages. In fact some games are full of blood, violence, and sex, which are not appropriate for children. In addition, by excessive playing you can become addicted to them, and moreover, you can isolate yourself from any form of social contact.

However, a few computer games can be a useful and interesting tools for children to learn something in a different way, where as games in textbooks might bore them in the textbooks. For instance, there are history and geography games, where you have to fill in the missing word.

Personally, I think that playing computer games can sometimes be a funny pastime, without overdoing it. Sadly, nowadays this amusement has become a very worrying trend. To counter this hurtful habit, there are many other things you can do, such as doing outdoor sports, reading or something else.

februar (no teacher)

[lucakun]

thank you very much!!