first certificate writing test 1

[ritavit]

It is supposed to be a text for the writing paper, part 1 of the First Certificate in English. I would be grateful if anyone could correct me the grammar and language mistakes. The topic of the exercise is " You're organising an adventure weekend holiday for a group of friends. Write a letter asking for information and details (if canoeing, food comprised, and clothes required in particular).


"Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to request further information about your Adventure Weekend Programme/Holiday, as my friends and I are really interested in participating; and clarification of the following details:
Firstly, we were wondering about the need of experience. We are a group of 5 friends, 3 female and 2 male, aged between 25 and 32 years, who cannot be really defined “sporty” since we all work in offices and just two of us practice some sport (go to run once a week).
Secondly, I wonder if you could tell me something more about the sporting activities we will take part in. Just the ones written or anything else, like canoeing for example?
In your advertisements it says that our prices include almost everything. Could you say me if the food is also comprised?
Finally, we need some extra information about the clothes we need to bring along with us. Which kind of shoes are required? We need for jacket or paints made of special material? I would appreciate a lot if you could suggest me a brand for the clothes.
We are feeling very enthusiastic about this programme, and look forward to your reply.
Yours faithfully
Rita Vitale"

[JohnParis]

Dear Sir or Madam,
I am writing to request further information about your Adventure Weekend Programme/Holiday. My friends and I are interested in participating, but we would like clarification of several items.
Firstly, we were wondering about the need of experience. We are a group of 5 friends, 3 female and 2 male, aged between 25 and 32 years, who cannot be really defined “sporty” since we all work in offices and only two of us practice limited sport (running once a week). What, if any, is the level of fitness required to participate in the adventure weekend?
Secondly, please tell me something more about the sporting activities we will take part in. Are they only the ones written in the brochure or is there anything else like canoeing, for example?
In your advertisements it says that your prices include almost everything. Are all meals included in the package? What, exactly, does "almost" mean?
Finally, we would like additional information about the type of clothing we need to bring with us. Which kind of shoes are required? Will we need jackets or pants made of special material? If so, I would be very appreciative if you would suggest a particular brand of the clothes.
We are very enthusiastic about this programme, and we look forward to hearing from you as soon as possible.
Yours faithfully,