Please have a look - TOEFL essay: Agree/Disagree: "Never, never give up"

[jackthomas]

Please make some comments. Yours faithfully.

Topic:
The expression “Never, never give up” means keep trying and never stop working for your goals. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people misinterpreted the words “Let it be” and gave up whenever they were confused what to do. In my opinion and in my own experience, “never, never give up” should be one of the most on-hand principles that anyone should perceive. Following such principle would not only help you maintain your consistency but also help you achieve your goal ultimately.
Consistency is the characteristic that would help you survive through the most difficult situation. There could be gale-force winds, there could be torrential rains, but you will still survive and even blossom if you keep up your work, maintain your beliefs and never give up. This fact does not only apply to casual life but also to working environment and your whole life.
Patience and patience is the most important factor deciding whether you could achieve your goal or not. People who keep going till the end of the road, even being staggering, will have their own gift. The gift at the end of the road may not match their initial goal, but it might be a better one: trust from friends, admiration from colleagues, and, above all, the defeat of themselves.
Principles are which you should have and maintain in life. Those might be a little abstract, but keeping your principles would affect your whole life long. Especially when your principle is good one as “never, never give up”, it would bring you more than your expectation.
People who strive for what they want will ultimately get what they need. Keep in mind that you have the ability to win, and never give up, you will be successful.

[jackthomas]

Anyone? Please....

[Raymott]

Please make some comments. Yours faithfully.

Topic:
The expression “Never, never give up” means keep trying and never stop working for your goals. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

Some people misinterpreted the words “Let it be” and gave up whenever they were confused what to do.
That's interesting, but I'd delete it. "Let it be" is not the expression asked about - nor do you have space to explain how it's relevant (if it is). In a very short essay like this, you have no room for straying off the point.

Start here ->
In my opinion and in my own experience, “never, never give up” should be one of the most on-hand [?] principles that anyone should perceive [?]. Following such a principle would not only help you maintain your consistency but also help you get closer to achieving your goal ultimately.
[Not necessarily. If achieving a goal was guaranteed by adopting this strategy, it would be much more popular. My amendment is possibly not completely true either]

Consistency is the characteristic that would help you survive through the most difficult situation. There could be gale-force winds, there could be torrential rains, but you will still survive and even blossom if you keep up your work, maintain your beliefs and never give up. This fact does not only apply to casual life but also to working environment and your whole life. [It's not a fact]

Patience and patience [?] is the most important factor deciding whether you could achieve your goal or not. People who keep going till the end of the road, even being staggering, will have their own gift. The gift at the end of the road may not match their initial goal, but it might be a better one: trust from friends, admiration from colleagues, and, above all, the defeat of themselves.
Principles are which something you should have and maintain in life. Those might be a little abstract, but keeping your principles would affects your whole life long. Especially when your principle is a good one as “never, never give up”, it would bring you more than your expectation.
People who strive for what they want will ultimately get what they need. Keep in mind that you have the ability to win, and never give up, you will be successful.

This is all very idealistic. You don't have to take an extreme view in these essays. It's quite legitimate to state that "Never, never give up" is a better principle than "If at first you don't succeed, quit."
Other than that, you have a consistent argument, your punctuation is very good, setence structure is good. I've queried some of the vocabulary you've used - try to think of more appropriate words where I've written [?].
This essay is probably a bit short to assess the level you're at.

[Rock Girl]

honey;
I'm compeletly agree with you. If you really want to do something, you shouldn't give up on it! if I wanted to follow "let it be" line, I should've gave up on my life!!! but I never did. because, I've never ever doubt about my dreams, even for a second. well, my dreams seem odd and nonacceptable in my country and apparently there's no one here to figure them out, but I'm still moving!
you should try to see how your story will end and if you don't do it, you will regret it later. I'm sure. you will regret it!
so, just move on and never give up!!
the best,