[Proofread] Presentation at school 1/5
I'm going to divide it into five, as it's rather long to post it in one thread.
Thank you! more coming up...
I'm going to talk about child obesity and how the premier's recent program to fight against it isn't very effective.
Obesity has become so widespread of an issue amoung us that people cointed the term 'obesity epidemic'.
The fact that child obesity is on the increase doesn't help the situation, either. In an effort to fight the epidemic Ontario Premier Dalton McGuinty revealed his version of the solution, among which the biggest thing is mandatory 20-minute phys ed in elementary school curriculum.
With all due respect to his good intention, it's just not going to work, he's not getting at the real sources of the epidemic.
Re: [Proofread] Presentation at school 1/5
fight against - I think deleting the preposition would be fine
widespread of - delete 'of'
amoung - typo
mandatory - I'd say a mandatory