a paragraph for yoru review

Hi all,

Please review a few last lines of my story below:

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Mama realized that the Shiny had a better time than if Mama wouldn’t have allowed her daughter to organize her room herself. Mama observed that the Shiny had a great enthusiasm when trying the thing the way Shiny wanted. Mama was amazed to see how Shiny’s friends were engaged better than ever by themselves with a lot of laughter. Mama asked Shiny if she wanted to continue her idea of hanging everything to the ceiling. Shiny was so tired and her hands and neck were so sore that she just hugged her Mama and fell asleep. When Shiny woke up in the morning, she understood that it takes experience to get the things working. For the first time Shiny was happy to follow her Mama’s rule at least for the day.

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Thanks in advance
Gauri

[QUOTE=gauri_agr;834549]
a paragraph for your review

Hi all,

Please review a few last lines of my story below:

--------------------------

Mama realized that the Shiny had a better time than if Mama hadn’t allowed her daughter to organize her room herself. Mama observed that the Shiny showed great enthusiasm when trying the things in the way Shiny wanted. Mama was amazed to see how Shiny’s friends were engaged, better than ever by themselves, with a lot of laughter. Mama asked Shiny if she wanted to continue her idea of hanging everything on the ceiling. Shiny was so tired and her hands and neck were so sore that she just hugged her Mama and fell asleep. When Shiny woke up in the morning, she understood that it takes experience to get the things working. For the first time Shiny was happy to follow her Mama’s rule at least for the day.

---------------------------

Thanks in advance
Gauri

thanks februar for your corrections

Gauri