Just started this essay.... could one please have a look!?

[Dina1978]

Hello!

I have to write a 4000word essay and I just started. I would like to know, if my way of explaining statistics is clear (sentences not to complicated, appropriate words etc) or if I should better rewrite everything.

It would be a great help, if someone could have alook at it!Because I didin't post any of the tabels I'm talking about, it might be a little bit hard to follow...

THANKX!



How would you explain the low employment rates for some continental countries (relative to UK, Netherlands, USA ...)?

Introduction

This essay seeks to explain the low employment and high unemployment rates for Spain relative to the European average. First, employment and unemployment will be defined. Second, the different ways to analyse employment in a country are outlined. Third, I will examine those measurements for Spain. Regarding to the results I will try to find answers why certain groups of people show higher unemployment rates than others. Therefore this essay will refer to previous surveys which analysed relationships between unemployment and different socio-economic factors.

- Definition of employment
- Unemployment
- How to measure
- Different ways to look at employment/unemployment

Analysing the a country’s labour market regarding employment different measurements are used. Very common are the OECD standardised employment rates . ....
It is also possible to focus on the total employment ......
An other perspective offers a look at the job and worker mobility ....

a) unemployment rates
b) total employment
c) job/worker mobility
d) wage flexibility
e) ….

Description of Spain’s statistics

Spain’s unemployment rates remain to be one of the highest since more than two decades compared to other European countries. Following this essay is going to examine different statistics regarding Spanish employment respectively unemployment.

Table 1 shows the OECD standardised unemployment rates in western Europe (% of labour force) from 1980 till 2002. Spain had with 10,5% in 1980 the highest unemployment rate, which even doubled up to 21,7% in 1985. Besides Ireland, Spain’s unemployment rate remains to be double as high as all other countries listed in table 1. Spain’s reaches its highest rates in 1994 with 23,9%. No other country shown in this statistic even reaches 20%, thus Spain holds the record having the highest unemployment rates since the last two decades until 2002. Latest OECD data shows that Spain’s unemployment rates are dramatically reduced, from 23,9% in 1985 down to 9,6% in the second quarter of 2005. But still, Spain has still high unemployment rates compared with other European countries like Austria (5,1%), Ireland (4,3%), Norway (4,7%) or UK (4,7%). New European Union members like Poland and Slovak Republic took over the first and second place with 17,8% respectively 15,5% in the second quarter of 2005. In some countries like Germany and Finland unemployment rates increased up to 9,6% and 9,7% and remain to be on the same level as Spain (9,6%) today. The average unemployment rate in the 90th (1991 till 2000) was 9,7% in between the 15 European Union members (EU15). Spain’s unemployment rate was during these years in average 19,5%. Thus nearly 100% over the EU15 average. 2005 Spain shows a unemployment rate of 9,6%, while the EU15 rate is 7,6%. While other countries show a dramatic increase in their unemployment rates, Spain could reduce its own rates. Nevertheless its unemployment rate is still above the average of EU15 and OECD-Europe (8,6%). Table 2 shows unemployment rates regarding to the OECD total. While nine countries remain to have unemployment rates below the OECD average, eleven countries including Spain show higher rates than the average.


unemployment rates (long-term/ short-term)
a) total employment
b) job/worker mobility
c) wage flexibility
d) ….

Closer look at detailed statistics
- Who is long-term unemployed (sex, age, education, region)

Regarding to the results of each analysis above:
- why suffers this group from (long-term) unemployment?
- Policies

Which factors influence employment/ unemployment?
- Regressions between different factors (Nickel)

Summary

[Tdol]

Regarding to the results - with regard to the results,
An other perspective - Another
remain to be one of the highest since more than two decades - have remained one of the highest for the past two decades
remains to be double - you've used this twice- I'd just remove 'to be'
double as high as all other countries - double that of all other countries
holds the record having the highest unemployment rates since the last two decades until 2002- I'm not sure the pahrase 'holds the rcord' works- it's not something to be proud of- had the highest unemployment rates for the two decades up to 2002
in the 90th = 90s
in between the 15 European Union members - among the 15...
In some countries like Germany and Finland- comma, and add them after 'therefore' and 'thus'
remain to have - I don't like this remain + infinitive structure

[Dina1978]

Thanx!!

Wish U a nice weekend as well!

Cheers

[Dina1978]

An other question...

can I write:

"It is interesting to compare Spain’s employment rates referring to male persons who are in employment with the OECD-Europe and the Total-OECD average, because Spain seems to be in between those averages. Table 4 shows that 74,9% of men of working age have a job in 2004, while in the OECD-Europe average just 71% are in work. Countries like the Austria and Luxembourg which had fare lower unemployment rates 2004, have about the same employment rates as Spain ..."

I'm not sure if I can say: "it's interesting to compare ... rates reffering to ...."
And can I say: "to be in between averages"?

[Tdol]

I wouldn't use 'referring'; I'd just use 'for males in employment'
Spain falls between these averages??
BTW 'far lower' not 'fare lower'

[Dina1978]

And Thanx again for Ur help!!! I wrote the first part of this statistic essay and will post it in a new thread - hoping that someone will have a look at it. ...maybe I should try to find a boyfriend who is a native speaker, so that I don't have to bother anyone with my boring essay...