These are my two short paragraphs describing two pictures, could anyone check for me and comment to make them better.
There is a family with a mother, father, boy and girl. The father's name is Howard and the mother's name is Jane. They're smiling. They are standing in the yard.
The meal on the table is a main course. It is made up of meat, fried potatoes, and herbs. The meat may be beef or lamb. A fork is on the plate, and there are also flowers on the table.
Thanks in advance!
You have written descriptive sentences about the pictures but not necessarily a paragraph about what you see and feel.
Can you write more?
Can you write an introductory statement?
Can you write a closing or summary statement at the end of the paragraph?
Last edited by susiedq; 07-Jan-2012 at 14:14.
You could make your description more interesting than just being factual and tell only what you see.
I, on the other hand, cannot fault them as descriptive exercises. Your punctuation is perfect; your grammar is perfect. Just keep working through the exercises.
You've made an assumption about the relationships between the four people in the picture though, which cannot be based purely on observation of the picture. But this is better than 90% of beginners would manage for this sort of exercise.
There is a small error in your question though - the comma splice.
"These are my two short paragraphs describing two pictures. Could anyone check for me and comment to make them better?"
Last edited by Raymott; 08-Jan-2012 at 07:33. Reason: spell.