Hi teachers,
Could you proofread this short story? It is for low intermediate students.

Julia andher boyfriend are going to the cinema now. They are walking really fast because they are in a hurry. The film started ten minutes ago. It is one of Charles Kay’s horror films. Afriend of Julia’s saw it a few weeks ago, and she told her that the film was very scary. When they finally arrived at the cinema, all the tickets were sold out, so they didn’t see the film that night.

Is it better, 'When they finally arrived at the cinema, all the tickets had been sold.'?

Thanks in advance