Help me to correct this crime

[Faten.88]

I have written a simple play about a crime and I need your help to correct it. This is a part of the play.
Police Officer: What is the matter? why are you hurrying ?Man: Nothing,nothing
Police Officer: Why are you afraid?
Man: There,there are a dead man in the zoo.
Police Officer: Where did you see that?
Man:There in the giraffe cage.
Police Officer: Take us to the place.
((After they arrive to the place))
Police Officer: He died, call the emergency and the inspector.
Doctor: He died by hanging, this is the rope and there is an impact on the body.
Inspector: police,take the evidence to the lab.where is the man who were in the place of the crime?
Man: I am here,sir.
Inspector: Tell us ,what happened exactly?

I can accept any suggestions.

[februar]

Help me to correct this crime

I have written a simple play about a crime and I need your help to correct it. This is a part of the play.


Police Officer: What is the matter? Why are you in such a hurrying hurry? Man: Nothing, nothing
Police Officer: Why are you afraid?
Man: There, there are is a dead man in the zoo.
Police Officer: Where did you see that?
Man: Over there in the giraffe cage.
Police Officer: Take us to the place!
((After they arrived to at the place)) Police Officer: He died; call the emergency and the inspector!
Doctor: He died by hanging; this is the rope and there is an impact on the body were traces of injury around his neck. Inspector: Police Officer, take the evidence to the lab! Where is the man who were was in the place on the scene of the crime?
Man: I am here was there, sir.
Inspector: Tell us, what happened exactly?

I can accept any suggestions.

februar, no teacher

[Barb_D]

Why does the man say "Nothing, nothing"?

Instead of "take us to that place" try "Show me where!" or "Take me there!"

[Faten.88]

Thanks for your helping and suggestions. This is the second part, please have a look.


Man: I was near the monkey cage ,suddenly I heard voice so I ran to this place
Police man: Sir, we did not find any finger prints on the rope.
Inspector : are there any workers her?
Police man:yes, sir ,there are two workers .
Inspector : let him come here.
Workers: What is the matter?we did not do any thing.
Inspector:Where were you at the time of the crime ?
First worker: I was feeding the elephant in his cage
Inspector :And you?
Second worker:I was with him cleaning the cage.
Inspector : What a difficulte issue?
Police officer: Sir, the man said that he heard voice , which voice?
Inspector :I do not know , ask him.
Police Officer : Which voice did you heard

[emsr2d2]

Thanks for your helping and suggestions. This is the second part, please have a look.


Man: I was near the monkey cage, when suddenly I heard a voice so I ran to this place here.
Police man: Sir, we did not find any fingerprints (it's just one word)on the rope.
Inspector : Are there any workers (or "employees") here?
Police man: Yes, sir, there are two workers here.
Inspector : let Ask him them to come here.
Workers: What is the matter? We did not do anything (it's just one word).
Inspector: Where were you at the time of the crime?
First worker: I was feeding the elephant in his cage.
Inspector : And you?
Second worker: I was with him, cleaning the cage.
Inspector : What a difficulte issue? I don't know what you mean here. Why is this a question? Do you mean that the Inspector just wants the people to know that he is finding this a very complicated case? If so, he might say "What a complicated case!"
Police officer: Sir, the man said that he heard a voice. which Whose voice?
Inspector : I do not know. Ask him.
Police Officer : Which Whose voice did you heard hear?

See above.

[Faten.88]

Thanks a lot for your corrections. Please have a last look to the last part.


Man: It was a giraffe's voice, perhapes it was afraid.
Inspector: Officer,catch him.
Man: Why,sir? I did not do any thing.
Inspector:Because you are the killer.
Police Officer: How did you know that sir?
Inspector:This man is a lier, giraffe does not have a voice,so how he heard its voice?
Police Officer: Now,tell us,why did you kill him?
Man(crying): I have taken 100000 $ from this man to start a bussines but I lost my bussines and the money.
Police Officer: Ok,then.
Man: Know,He wanted his money and I do not have any thing so he threated me to jail. I killed him because I do not want to jail but know you will execute me.