Re: Please Edit or change my essay on Romeo and Juliet
Welcome to Using English..
Generally, we help you after you've submitted your essay if you don't understand comments by your teacher, etc. Your teacher needs to see what you can do on your own.
Your capitalization is very spotty.
The first paragraph is VERY redundant. It feels to me (and will no doubt feel to your teacher) that you are trying to fill in words to get to your word count.
You need a thesis sentence -- a sumary of what you're going to say.
I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.