Translation

Hello!I had to translate short parts of latin texts and I’m not sure what I wrote makes sense in English..some of the sentences sound so weird =(
I would really appreciate it if someone could take a look and tell me whether or not I have reinvented the English language :-) ..


Catilina’s conspiracy

During the consulate of the orator Marcus Tullius Cicero and C. Antonius, in the year 689 from Rome’s foundation, L. Sergius Catilina, a man of a very noble patrician family but with an awful nature, conspired to destroy his fatherland (?) together with certain important yet daring (?audax, audacis) and violent men. He was banished out of Rome from Cicero, the others who took part in the conspiracy were caught and strangled in the prison. Catilina himself, defeated from Antonius -the other consul – during a battle, was killed.

Discourses at Scaevola’s house

Quintus Mucius Scaevola usually used to tell many anecdotes he knew by heart about his father in law Gaius Lelius, and he used to do that with pleasure and did not hesitate to call him a “wise man” in any occasion. I, then, had been taken to Scaevola by my father, once I had acquired the toga virilis (?) , and despite being allowed to I never really went away from that old man; I used to learn by memory the sentences he passed and even most of the short phrases he said and I committed myself to become wiser thanks to his knowledge. After his death I relied on Scaevola Pontifex, the only one who –I dare say- stood out in our city for intelligence and justice. However I’ll talk about this in a different occasion, now I’ll go back to the Augur (Mucius Scaevola).

The answer of a veteran

Labienus riding a horse, with no helmet on his head, was in the first line, exhorting his men and addressing to Caesar’s legionaries words such as: “How comes that you, recruit, are so enthusiast? Did Caesar infatuate you with his words as well? By Hercules (?), he got you all into deep trouble!I feel pity for you.”. Then a soldier said: “Labienus, I’m not a recruit, but a veteran from legio decima (?). Labienus answered: “I can’t see the signs of someone belonging to the legio decima in you”. “Now you will understand who I am”, replied the soldier as he took off his helmet to be recognised; soon afterwards he threw a javelin with all his strength, hit the horse’s chest with it and said “Be aware, Labieno, that the one who is now hitting you is a soldier belonging to legio decima”.

Thanks in advance =)

During the consulate of the orator Marcus Tullius Cicero and C. Antonius- I'd rephrase this- While C & A were consuls
banished out of Rome from Cicero- banished from Rome by C
in the prison- in prison
defeated from Antonius- by
The logic goes weird at the end- he was banished in one sentence and killed in the next. =???
father in law Gaius Lelius,- father in law, Gaius Lelius,
in any occasion- on
toga virilis- I'd say something like 'was old enough to wear a toga', or give a footnote with a cultural explanation
learn by memory - by heart
addressing to Caesar’s legionaries words such as:- addressing Caesar’s legionaries with words such as:
How comes that you- How come you...
legio decima- the tenth legion
hit the horse’s chest - hit the horse in the chest
;-)

Quote:

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banished out of Rome from Cicero- banished from Rome by C

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Of course, by Cicero, not from..always the same lapsus...
I keep alternating the use of "by" and "from" depending on the weather :-D

Quote:

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The logic goes weird at the end- he was banished in one sentence and killed in the next.
=???

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He was supposed to go away from Roma like Cicero told him, but he decided to gather the last remaining rebel legions in Pistoia, Etruria (actual Tuscany) to oppose the governative legions and was killed during the battle, Antonius had him decapitated, an eye for an eye I guess..lol
The latin text sounds confusing as well but I wanted the translation to be as close to the original text as possible.

Quote:

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toga virilis- I'd say something like 'was old enough to wear a toga', or give a footnote with a cultural explanation

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Oh, this is perfectly fine, thanks for the suggestion!I find it so hard to transmit certain nuances while translating from latin to English :-|

Thanks for your kind help tdol!!=)

If the original is confusing, then keep it that way. I' afraid there wil be may such nuances- one of my students did Latin at university and used to ask some tricky questions about translating such things. ;-)