Please review my TOEFL essay. :)

Do you agree with the viewpoint that people are now easier to become educated than in the past?

From ancient time to modern society, despite many diversified opinions aired by different people based on their own will, there can be no doubt that being educated allows people to have a better life is under the aegis of popular belief. Since one of advantages of being educated is that knowledge shows us different aspects of life, we can know more about the world. Some people think that education is more widespread in the past. Others hold an opposing idea and believe that more people become educated today than in the past. It is my contention that people are easier to become educated in modern times.

First, the number of educational institutions has increased dramatically during the past decades allowing a much greater number of people to receive education. In nowadays, higher educational background is required in many companies, in order to have a better job and a better future, so becoming educated is essential to everyone. This phenomenon indicates that more educational institutions are needed. On the other hand, someone might have a different perspective than mine and argue that there were also a lot of private schools and tutors available in the past allowing many people to receive education. However, regarding this idea, these objectors and I are not on the same wavelength. According to the statistics which was done by the Education Department, at National Taiwan University, there were just three hundred and forty-five schools including elementary schools, junior high schools, senior high schools and universities totally, but now, there are thousands of schools including what I have just mentioned and cram schools. To sum up, there is no gainsaying that the fact that it is easier to be educated in this generation should be put in the limelight.

In addition, with the development of society, people are wealthy enough to pay more attention to become educated or pursue higher education. In other words, unlike people in the past, now most of people can afford the tuition. Take my father and I as examples. Forty years ago, our government was still unstable, same as the economic system. Except for the rich people, most of families in Taiwan lived in poverty, so how to survive in this chaotic environment was everyone's top priority. Since most people couldn't pay for schools, there were only few schools that were established. My father was ten years old, and my grandparents' financial condition was as awful as everyone else, so my father never got an opportunity to receive formal education. Conversely, in my generation, maybe not everyone is a millionaire, but almost every family can afford the expense and send their children to schools. In fact, receiving education from elementary to junior high is civilians' mandatory obligation. Our government called it "Nine-year Compulsory Education". Such would be the direct evidence that bears witness to the simplicity of being educated in the twenty-first century.

Of course, I don't mean to suggest that my point of view is unassailable. Nevertheless, I feel that my opinion is built on a solid foundation.


My TOEFL test will be on 7/22.
So if you can help me to correct my essay I will be very grateful to you. :D
Thank you so much!