Please correct this practice essay
Hello!
I am a new member and it seems to be a great place to get help to learn English!
I want to take the TOEFL test, so could you please correct, or criticize this essay? (I think that there are some mistakes, because I did it in 30 minutes, in the real test conditions)
And if you know the TOEFL rating scale, may you also rate it?
Thank you in advance!
Quote:
Essay prompt:
Think critically about the following statement:
A universal language should replace all the languages.
Discuss the advantages, and the disadvantages of a universal language.
There are hundreds of languages and dialects around the world. Because of this, the communication can sometimes be difficult, for example when travelling in another country, or working with a foreigner. All of these difficulties could be avoided with the creation of a new universal language, out phasing all the others. However, it would have some advantages, and disadvantages.
At first, an universal language has a lot of advantages. The biggest is undoubtedly how it would ease communication with people from different countries. For instance, a universal language would encourage people to talk to local people when travelling, or to talk with people coming from abroad to find out more about them or their culture. At would also be an enormous advantage at work, if as an example, a company deals with a foreign one. Moreover, people will no longer have the dreadful task of learning several words specific to only one language! Second, this language would be a source of progress by having all information in one single idiom. Search of information will be faster and more precise. Finally, it would probably cause a giant leap for humanity because people will understand others, and reduce the (xenophobia) in the long term...
However, this universal language also have drawbacks. The main disadvantage is the difficulty to create form scrap a totally idiom. Indeed, each word has his roots from another previous language, like Latin, or Arabic... Therefore, it may lead to conflicts on which language or languages will be the closest to this new one. And there are thousands of words to translate, which will need a lot of time. Populations' opinions has also to be taken into account. It is unsure that seven billions of humans will accept to drop their native language for a new one, and for reasons not concerning them. At last, if it becomes used, this idiom will make people forget their former one, and its literature, and culture with it. This would be a big loss for humanity.
To sum up, a universal language mat ease communication, while having significant drawbacks. Personally, I would not accept to forget my native language, but a good solution would be to keep it, and also learn a "universal" language. This is what I am doing by learning English, one of the most broadly spoken language in the world.
