[Grammar] IELTS Essay, please correct my essay

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.
Discuss both the views with your own opinion.

Every parent wants their children to be a good and responsible member of society. A section of population thinks that school is a place to learn about it while a few contradicts this thought, they conceive that parents should educate their children how to be a good member of society. Both these thoughts will be discussed in following paragraphs in same order.
Apparently, the section of population that thinks that school is a place for children to learn good things about the social behaviour, have their own rationalisations. For example a child hardly gets time to interact their parents, as nowadays parents are quite busy if they both are bread earners for afamily. This makes school to play a bigger role in mental stabilisation of a kid, teach him to be a respectable member of a society. Moreover, this has been proven by various scientific researches that kids have better learning when they have peer competition which can be provided in schools.
However, another school of thought assumes that home is a place to start learning as children spend most of their time at home with their siblings, parents or caretakers. They have greater influence on mental conditioning of a child. For example if a child’s father or mother is abusive at home, the child tends to be an abusive individual in a society as home environment plays great impact on upbringing of a child.
Eventually, after interpreting both the justifications and having closer inquisition, I certainly feel that learning starts from home. Parental guidance is extremely important in better upbringing of a child for a fruitful future existence. For example my brother and his friend found five hundred rupees in school playground; even after constant disagreement from his friend my brother returned the money to school authority. This shows that even though both of them study in a same section of the school, family moral values play important role in decision making. Thus, parents have major role in making children to be a good member of society.