Help me correct and give a score to this essay, please!
Should arts-related entertainment venues such as museums and art galleries be free of charge for the general public, or should a charge apply for admittance?
Discuss this issue, and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, with the presence of advanced technology and electronic recreation, artistic venues like museums and art galleries have gradually lost their predominance in the entertainment industry. Some people think that these places should be free of charge for the general public while others believe admittance should be paid for. As is the case of many issues, each view has both plus and minus points.
On the one hand, free-charged museums and galleries seem to stimulate the regular attendance. If it is free to visit a museum, it appears to be able to attract more people to the venue. Indeed, some luxurious venues cost visitors too much to enter; therefore, there is little chance for the low-income people to visit them despite their desire to have a look at some masterpieces or historic properties. Thus, free-charge admittance would allow such people to satisfy their desires as well as increase the number of visitors to the places. However, it can bring some drawbacks. As admittance is free,the visitors enter and go out the venues without any registry or certificates, so it is more difficult for the staff to keep control over the operation of the museums or art gallaries. What's more, the crimes such as roberries or frauds also occur more easily.
On the other hand, entrance requiring a certain amount of money can ensure safety for the art-related venues. It can help keep the attendance under the control and generate a stable fund to run and restore the places if necessary. The money received can be recognised as the income of the venues or can be used to organise some events such as a competition in art knowledge or a painting contest, which helps raise the people's interest in arts. Nevertheless, the high cost of admittance can put off people visiting the artistic venues because nowadays there is a wide range of cheaper fomrs of entertainment available such as cinemas or concerts or amusement parks.
My position in this issues is that we can adjust the two views to come up with the best solution. For example,it can cost, but a small amount of money - not too much, to enter these venues. Or instead of a charge for admittance, the managers can allow some souvenir shops or offer refreshments such as foods and drinks and charge these services. That money can compensate for the entrance charge that has been abolished.
All things considered, I believe that it is up to the directors and managers of museums and art galleries to consider many interrelated factors to come to the ultimate ways of running or operating the venues to benefit both the staff and visitors.
Re: Help me correct and give a score to this essay, please!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chinghia 
Should arts-related entertainment venues such as museums and art galleries be free of charge for the general public, or should a charge apply for admittance?
Discuss this issue, and give your opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, with the presence of advanced technology and electronic recreation, artistic venues like museums and art galleries have gradually lost their predominance in the entertainment industry. Some people think that these places should be free of charge for the general public while others believe admittance should be paid for. As is the case of many issues, each view has both plus and minus points.
On the one hand, free-charged museums and galleries seem to stimulate the regular attendance. If it is free to visit a museum, it appears to be able to attract more people to the venue. Indeed, some luxurious venues cost visitors too much to enter; therefore, there is little chance for the low-income people to visit them despite their desire to have a look at some masterpieces or historic properties. Thus, free-charge admittance would allow such people to satisfy their desires as well as increase the number of visitors to the places. However, it can bring some drawbacks. As admittance is free,the visitors enter and go out the venues without any registry or certificates, so it is more difficult for the staff to keep control over the operation of the museums or art gallaries. What's more, the crimes such as roberries or frauds also occur more easily.
On the other hand, entrance requiring a certain amount of money can ensure safety for the art-related venues. It can help keep the attendance under the control and generate a stable fund to run and restore the places if necessary. The money received can be recognised as the income of the venues or can be used to organise some events such as a competition in art knowledge or a painting contest, which helps raise the people's interest in arts. Nevertheless, the high cost of admittance can put off people visiting the artistic venues because nowadays there is a wide range of cheaper fomrs forms of entertainment available such as cinemas or concerts or amusement parks.
My position in this issues is that we can adjust the two views to come up with the best solution. For example,it can cost, but a small amount of money - not too much, to enter these venues. Or instead of a charge for admittance, the managers can allow some souvenir shops or offer refreshments such as foods and drinks and charge these services. That money can compensate for the entrance charge that has been abolished.
All things considered, I believe that it is up to the directors and managers of museums and art galleries to consider many interrelated factors to come to the ultimate ways of running or operating the venues to benefit both the staff and visitors.
Score? "A", if its your original work. How long have you studied and where did you study English?
Re: Help me correct and give a score to this essay, please!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
billmcd Score? "A", if its your original work. How long have you studied and where did you study English?
Thanks! I'm in the 12th form in a High School in Nghe An, in the middle of Vietnam. I've studied English there for about 5 years. I would like comments and correction from everybody so that I can improve my English!
Re: Help me correct and give a score to this essay, please!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chinghia Thanks! I'm in the 12th form in a High School in Nghe An, in the middle of Vietnam. I've studied English there for about 5 years. I would like comments and correction from everybody so that I can improve my English!
Well, it's difficult for me to understand how you have gained a command of English after only 5 years of study. You must be a teen-age prodigy. Good luck to you and your instructor.
Re: Help me correct and give a score to this essay, please!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
billmcd Well, it's difficult for me to understand how you have gained a command of English after only 5 years of study. You must be a teen-age prodigy. Good luck to you and your instructor.
Thanks. Your words are really an encouragement to me. I've studied in an English Specialised class. Many pupils in my class are better than me. Below is another essay on the same topic written by my classmate. Could you please give a score, some correction and comparison with mine?
Nowadays, people tend to spend their free time enjoying arts-related entertainment in such places as museums and art galleries. Regarding this leisure activity’s popularity, some suggest that those places should be free of charge for general public. However, others argue that admission fee should be maintained. In my opinion, both the two views have their pros and cons but I am personally in favour of the latter.
To begin with, free admittance brings benefits to general public. As everyone has to work hard to contribute to the society, all deserve entertaining and such arts-related entertainment is not an exception. Suppose if anyone can enter an art gallery or museum without any fee, then people can have equal chances to enjoy themselves and get access to popular artistic works. Even those who are not well-off but have passions in arts can satisfy themselves and have fun, which helps motivate their work productivity. Moreover, in that fashion, new artistic works can be easily brought to public to be known and get reactions from different people from all walks of life. As a result, the more responses an artist receive from the public, the better they work.
In contrast, admission fee has its own plus points. First off, it is more respectable to reward artists for what they have created. For instance, to produce art works, the artists have to spend long time with a great deal of creation and hardwork. Although they work for passion, if they receive nothing except for viewers’ comments, how can they earn their living, let alone maintaining and developing their careers? That strongly discourages them from contributing to that kind of entertainment. Secondly, profits from admittance are the main source supporting those arts-related entertainment venues. Because Government’s funding and public donations are rarely enough, it is difficult for such museums and galleries to keep running, which is involves in a variety of problems like distributing salaries or paying for upkeep. The charge for admittance, though possibly small to each one, may help much in improving those entertainment venues.
As far as I am concerned, everyone should pay for enjoying such kind of entertainment. That not only motivates artists but also creates beneficial impacts on the whole entertainment industry. On the other hand, those fees should be reasonable so that everyone can easily access such arts-related entertainment and enjoy themselves.
