CPE Article - Correction/ opinions
Hello there everybory, I'd like to ask you to give me your opinion to this article I wrote.
I'm studying for the CPE test but I'm having some difficulties in correcting my essays and articles.
I'd would appreciate any kind of help.
I thank you in advance.
Ps. Hope you have fun reading it, it's a tragical/funny story.
Write an article (350 words). Topic: you have seen an advertisement for a competition in a travel magazine:
COMPETITION TIME! Have you ever been on a trip when everything’s gone wrong? We’re sure plenty of you have. Well, if you have, why not enter our competition? It’s called THE TRIP FROM HELL and we’re looking for the best article of that title. Tell us about a journey you took or a stay you had somewhere that was a complete nightmare. How did you feel, how do you feel about it now? The prize will be a trip to the destination of the winner’s dreams. So get writing now!
By chance it was that I found that 4-people group train ticket to Prague. It was a last minute deal incredibly cheap and fitting us perfectly in the middle of a long summer vacation with not enough money to enjoy it. I was living in Germany, doing in Exchange program, when my sister came to visit me. Two more Brazilian friends decided to joins us when I told them about the train ticket and like that trip was all set.
We were all to sleep at Pedro’s house as to avoid any problems in the morning of our trip. Being young as we were, all about 17 years old, and not having any parents to help us around (we were all exchange students), we tried to make sure that we had arranged everything as to go well. We woke up on time and had plenty of time to take the subway to the central train station. We were so glad that the trip wa about to start and so cheap! Arriving by foot to the subway after about 15 minutes, Pedro realized we hadn’t taken his passport. We all came back to the apartment, and were obligated to take a taxi to arrive in time to catch our train to Prague.
Finally there, ten minutes before the departure time! What a chance! In Germany, punctuality is something taken very seriously. Pedro decided to go quickly buy a can of coke and would be back in 3 minutes. He left, short after the train arrived, we entered and got us comfortable while waiting for him and the departure time. Being Brazilian, we were not used to some German simple facts and habits such as the train whistle which meant that it was leaving in 3 minutes. Pedro was not back yet and we stared to panic. 30 seconds of words with no meaning nor solutions, I had a moment of hero’s feeling and hushed out of the train passing from the platform to the restaurant area and screamed to Pedro to run back quickly. As for the rest, you can imagine. It was the first time I really felt like being in a movie: running up the stairs, catching the first sights of the platform and seeing the train leaving with both my sister and our other friend hitting the window from inside and screaming. First reaction? Run and stop the train. Second reaction, physical too, tears. Third reaction was finally intellectual: insulting Pedro as much as I could.
The nightmare: I was the one holding the ticket for all the four passengers which meant that my sister and the other friends were travelling illegally. On the other hand, they held all my and my friend’s possible things that goes from our luggage to our wallet, documents and cell phones. We stood there with nothing but our clothes, the train ticket and some money change. We went to the ticket stand, explained the situation and the only possible solution was for us to buy one ticket each to Prague but pay only the half. For this to work, our friends need to descend in a city in the middle of the way and wait for our train and board back with us. We bought the two tickets with the money change Pedro had with him and there was 2 Euros left, happily enough to make a phone call to my sister and explain to them what they were supposed to do. I guess the nightmare with this trip is really involved in the small details. When I called her, she was nervous and didn’t pay attention. As I was trying to explained, I could see the maker on the phone going from 90 cents to 80 cents to 70 cents. What’s more, she didn’t speak any German, so while I said the name of the city involved in the process I imagine she was thinking about Hitler (that’s pretty much the most famous German figure known in Brazil). 50 cents, I managed to talk to the friend, who started screaming nervously. 30 cents and no information had been passed. I thought I was going to pass out of anger. 20 seconds, I started screaming and it seemed to work – he got the name of the city and we hung up.
We took the train about 5 hours after our little incident of missing the first one, met my sister and the other friend in the city in the middle of the itinerary and arrived in Prague safely, only a couple of hours later. If this story is not in movie yet, it should be. Watching it from outside it just seems too funny!
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