Toefl independent writing task- please give me score out of 5

[tejasw]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.

Today’s world's most important problems are limited conventional sources, Terrorism, Global warming, population control. Scientist and researchers has already started working and solving such problems. I think these problems will be solved in my life time.
Firstly, today most of machine, automobiles works on conventional energy sources. They are limited on earth. on other hand dependence on such fuels is increasing. Scientist are inventing unlimited, natural and pollution free sources of energy. Like use of wind, tidal, solar energy. They convert non renewable energy into electricity. But today such converting equipments are costs very high. So considering national and global support for research in this field, I think energy problem will be solved and under control in coming years.
Secondly, Terrorism is today’s evil in society. With social awareness, abandoning such people from society, strict action against terrorist will help to minimize these things. For example, US attacked Pakistan to kill notorious terrorist Osama Bin Laden.
Thirdly, problem of population. China has already started dealing with control over population. Their offer policies and government aids, free education for single child of parents. Today rate of children per parents have came down to 2 from earlier average rate 5-6. People are more aware with effect of population and competition for food and home. In coming days this problem will be under control.
Forth problem is Global Warming. All nations have already united to deal with Global Warming. Emission of green house gasses is major cause today. But scientists are trying to minimize this rate and hence try to reducing rate of global warming.
In summary, Human being is known for best example of adaptation. Today’s problems will be solved in coming years and new problems may occur, but scientist and leaders will again try to solve tomorrow’s problems because it’s a human nature.

[boje]

Hi,

I do prepare for the TOEFL myself..I think your text is quite good, however I think I found some mistakes.


Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.

Today’s world's most important problems are limited to conventional sources, Terrorism, Global warming, population control. Scientist and researchers have already started working on it and solve such problems. I think these problems will be solved in my life time.

Firstly, today most of the machine, automobiles work_ on conventional energy sources. They are limited on earth. On the other hand dependence on such fuels is increasing. Scientist are inventing unlimited, natural and pollution free sources of energy. Like the use of wind, tidal or solar energy. They convert non renewable energy into electricity. But today the cost of such converting equipments are very high. So considering national and global support for research in this field, I think energy problem will be solved and under control in coming years.

Secondly, Terrorism is today’s evil in society. With social awareness, abandoning such people from society, strict action against terrorist will help to minimize these things. For example, US attacked Pakistan to kill notorious terrorist Osama Bin Laden.

Thirdly, the problem of (over?)population. China has already started dealing with control over population. They offer policies and government aids, free education for single childs of parents. Today the rate of children per parents have came down to 2 from an earlier average rate of 5-6. People are more aware of the effects of population and competition for food and home. In coming days this problem will be under control.

The forth problem is Global Warming. All nations have already united to deal with Global Warming. Emission of green house gasses is a major cause today. But scientists are trying to minimize this rate and hence try to reducing rate of global warming.

In summary, Human being is known for the best example of adaptation. Today’s problems will be solved in coming years and new problems may occur, but scientist and leaders will again try to solve tomorrow’s problems because it’s a human nature.

[Gillnetter]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: The most important problems in today's world will be solved in our lifetime.

Today’s world's most important problems are have limited conventional sources: energy, terrorism global warming, and population control. Scientist and researchers has have already started working on and solving such problems. I think these problems will be solved in my life time.
Firstly, today most of the machines and automobiles works work on conventional energy sources. They These sources are limited on earth. On the other hand, dependence on such fuels is increasing. Scientist are inventing unlimited, natural, and pollution free sources of energy, such as the Like use of wind, tidal, and solar energy. They convert non-renewable energy into electricity. But today, such converting equipments equipment are costs are very high. So, considering national and global support for research in this field, I think the energy problem will be solved and under control in the coming years.
Secondly, terrorism is today’s evil in society. With social awareness, abandoning removing such people from society, and taking strict action against terrorists will help to minimize these things. For example, the US attacked Pakistan to kill the notorious terrorist, Osama Bin Laden.
Thirdly, is the problem of population. China has already started dealing with control over the population. Their They offer policies and government aids and a free education for the single child of parents. Today, the rate of children per parents have came down to 2 two from an earlier average rate of 5-6 five-six. People are more aware with of the effect of population and competition for food and home. In the coming days this problem will be under control.
The forth problem is global warming. All nations have already united to deal with global warming. Emission of green house gasses is major cause of pollution today. But scientists are trying to minimize this rate and, hence, try to reducing reduce the rate of global warming.
In summary, human beings is are known for as the best example of adaptation. Today’s problems will be solved in the coming years and new problems may occur, but scientist and leaders will again try to solve tomorrow’s problems because it’s a human nature.

1. Review the rules of capitalization.
2. Research the word "attacked". The US did not attack Pakistan. Elements of the US military raided one house in Pakistan - that does not constitute an attack against a nation.
3. A good rule to follow is to spell out any number less than 10.
4. Try not to use such terms as "all nations". It may be true that many nations have agreed to do a something, but this do not mean that all of them have agreed.
5. Review the rules on articles - you missed too many articles.