May you please evaluate my SAT essay?

[sarael]

Hello! So I'm preparing for the SAT and I would really appreciate it if you would accept to grade my SAT essay. I'm very nervous about this part of the exam, and any advice you would accept to give me is welcome.

Thanks a lot!!

P.S: please grade my essay on a scale of 1 to 6


Assignment: Are we free to make our own choices in life, or are our decisions always limited by the rules of society? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.


It is true that society might seem oppressing at times and that it may seem to limit our freedom to make our own decisions. However, despite this impression, we are still in control of our life, and we still have the ability to make a change. Both Napoleon Bonaparte and Martin Luther prove to us that men are free to lead their life as they wish, as long as they are motivated enough.

Napoleon Bonaparte was a great French general and later on in life the French emperor. However, contrary to what most people would think, Napoleon started off as a nobody: He was born in Corsica, a small region in the Italian border of France, and his father was a simple shopkeeper. Despite these social handicaps, Napoleon was still able to make a change and live the life he aspired for. Through effort, diligence, and ambition, Napoleon became an emperor, even though he was not part of the royal family. He was able to achieve this despite the French society of the time, which was certainly not based on merit but on your social status. Napoleon proves to us that if you have enough motivation and will, the rules of society cease to become an obstacle.

Similarly, Martin Luther too demonstrates to us that society doesn’t limit your decisions when you are motivated enough. As a scholar and theologian, Martin Luther was also a reformer who vehemently opposed the Catholic Church. Martin Luther, in 1517, published his 93 theses and effectively spread his ideas and received support despite the strict society in which he lived in. Yes, Martin Luther was excommunicated and threatened of receiving the death penalty, but at the end, did it stop him from unleashing the great Protestant Reformation which would shake all of Europe for another century? Although the society in which Martin Luther lived in was dominated by the Catholic Church and strictly regulated the lives of the people, it didn’t stop Martin Luther from expressing his ideas and being the man he wanted to be.

Therefore, as both Napoleon and Martin Luther show to us, society should never be considered an obstacle. This is your life, so live it the way you want. Of course, sometimes, it won’t be easy, but you have to be motivated enough to face any challenge and still finish winner. Believing in yourself is the key.

[emsr2d2]

Welcome to the forum.

Is this the essay you will be submitting for your exam?

On a side note, I note that your member profile shows your native language as English. Can I just check that that is correct? It's easy to hit the wrong choice on the dropdown and it just seemed a little surprising that you said you are an English learner and that a native of Morocco, but that English is your first language.

[sarael]

Well I don't think I'll be submitting this essay for the exam, because they change essay topics each year. That was just a practice essay.

English is not my first language, I'm just learning it in school.

So what do you think of my essay? Please?

[emsr2d2]

Well I don't think I'll be submitting this essay for the exam, because they change essay topics each year. That was just a practice essay.

English is not my first language, I'm just learning it in school.

So what do you think of my essay? Please?

I'll take a better look at your essay later. In the meantime, please edit your member profile to show your true native language. There are two reasons for this - we like our members to be truthful, but also other learners will look at your profile and assume that what you post is correct English based on the fact that they think you are a native speaker.