Please stop editing the original post. Just write a new one. The story keeps changing.
Once when I was very young,
Upon one daysI went to the market ingin my city with my family when I was a smallage. There was a big kid In this place someone who has a big stomach andwith sharp eyes. He had a small car with a remote control. He hit sanyone who when someonecame near tohim who wanted to play with his toy. his game. But meI wanted to play with it because I had asked requiredmy mother to buy the slimier gamea similar toy but she wouldn't didn't buy it.When I saw this kid with this toy, I wondered "How can I play with it without his hitting me?" In this caseI requireasked my mother to give me some sweets and chocolatesbut my mother didn't give me anything. I wondered myself how can I play it.After five minutes, found findthe solution and laughed evily. like evil. ,In my hand has a beautiful digital clock. It'sIt was a Ben Ten clock. I gave him my clock and he was happy. After that I runran quickly to my mother and cried cry.
"What happen?" she said.
"That kid stole my clock," and I
crycried very hard strong. She went goesto him and said something into his ear s. They talked together quietly with silent sound. I couldn't hear didn't listenwhat they said but the boy's eyes changed convertfrom sharp eyeto beautiful eyes.
He came to me and caught my hand and said, "Can you play with me?"
I was surprised and felt happy. I played with him
it. Finally, I knew my mother talk gently with him. In this way, I learned that thebeautiful words are better than my thebad method.
You have trouble with the past tense.
The car is a toy, not a game. You play WITH it; you don't "play it."
You "ask" for something from your mother; you don't "require" it.
When you write what someone says, you need to start a new paragraph and use quotation marks.
You have amazing analyze. I learned a lot of from you. From corrected my paragraph I think now should be read more and more. The second time I will write another paragraph better than this.
Thanks for you