Second Sentence: "Everyone" over "Anyone".
Third Sentence: Strikes me as odd since "this" implies that you are referring to a previously mentioned method, but you only stated that people have ways to relieve stress, not any actual methods. Also, "these" over "this" would have to be used since "methods" implies it's plural. Anyway, change it to "We are able to divide common stress relieving methods into two categories: the healthy ways and the unhealthy ways (although, I would prefer the "right" way and the "wrong" way, but those changes would be personal).
Fourth Sentence: Just sounds overall odd to me. Maybe change "running and listening" to "running while listening," to make it flow better. Also, "the" is unnecessary before "music".
Fifth Sentence: "Instead" is a weird transition here. I would use "Meanwhile" instead, since you are comparing unhealthy ways and healthy ways. Also, "are" strikes me as unnatural, try "consists of," and change "do" before "extreme sports".
Sentence Two: "Start" over "star"!
Sentence Three: Nice attempt, but "I do love listen to the music" is unnatural. Try, "I love listening to music while I'm running." Please refrain from using "the" before "music," as it is unnecessary (usually). The colon and "indeed" are weird. Make it a new sentence.
*New* Sentence Four: Take out "Indeed," as "I forget" can now stand alone. "Problems" is weird, try "worries."
Sentence Five: Can over Could.
For "Furthermore," "In my opinion," and "Anyway" (next paragraph), needs a comma afterwards. In the next paragraph, replace the colon with a period and capitalize the W in "when" afterward.
"In conclusion" needs a comma afterward in the final paragraph, as well as "personally". Change "The first days" to "The first day."
I hope I helped and that you understand :)
- For Teachers