about possible redundant words...

[wacky]

Hi there. I got the following sentence (part of my letter contents) and seek your help for a better presentation

Letter contents:
I refer to your letter dated.....I should be grateful if you would attend to the following items and rectify the errors.

(1) State correctly the name of the applicant;
(2) State correctly the Application Number which is assigned to your application;
(3).....

Should each of the above item be added with the word "Please" at the beginning ? (e.g. Please state....)

Cheers.

[Tdol]

I don't think there's any need for it as you have introduced them with a polite phrase.

[wacky]

Hi there. Thanks for your advice. However, my supervisor, a Chinese, insists that I must have each of items preceded by "Please". What can I do? It seems to me the sentences look really weird.

Cheers.

[Ouisch]

It probably depends upon to whom you're sending the letter, and what their culture dictates. But generally, your "I should be grateful" statement is polite enough, and adding "please" before each successive statement would be "overkill." One thing you could add at the end of your letter would be a statement like "I thank you in advance for your kind cooperation." That would add an extra note of politeness.

[wacky]

Hi there. Thanks for your reply. I've expressed my view to my supervisor before I sent my first thread here and the response was a bit hostile. I totally agree that the culture of the recipient dictates. However, in my case, I'd rather say that the culture of my work place dictates (e.g. all of us must strictly follow what we're told to) and that's a very sad culture indeed.

Cheers.