Please have my essay checked

[Raiph]

Here is a compostion for CET-4,We're required to write an 120-word essay entitiled "Is on-campus students to get married legal?

Is on-campus sutdents to get married legal?

The law has been passed to allow college students to get married .That is, it is legal for on-campus students to get married before they graduate.This is undoubtedly a good news for students,but there're still some opponents who show their disapproval of on-campus marriage.
As we know,every coin has two sides.On-campus marriage has both good and bad influence on us college students.On one hand, we have to deal with our studies as well as the life after marriage.We may lose balance between them.Even worse, it'll leas to failure in studies and divorce.On the other hand, as some parents said, it can help their children to concerntrate on their work after graduation instead of sparing time for going out with girls.
From my perspective, it all depends on the student himself.If you're quite sure you can keep a good balance between marriage and studies, without doubt,it is a good experience for you.

Thank you for your correction.Please grade it(15 points).

[drrohitbaslas]

Hi

I am rohit.I am preparing for GMAT exam so I thought I can help you out.

I think if you have gone against the motion you would have done justice with the issue.Getting married at a young age can be disastrous as most of the relationships are infatuations & such relationships break very soon.Such relationships donot survive the pressures of real life.Familiarity breeds contempt when they start living together & share responsibilities.Very soon relationship goes from sublime to ridiculous.

However there are definitely some people who would benfit.But for larger proportion, its too early to take such a big decision of life.

[Tdol]

It's a strange title as the simple answer is 'yes'. You give a discussion of the merits, but in my opinion, you should discuss the legal aspects- it doesn't ask for an opinion, just whether it is legal for students to get married. Are you sure you have the exact wording of the question there? Strictly speaking, with that question, which is not really correct English, there should be an examination of the law, who it covers, age requirements, etc.