please correct my cover letter

[esophea]

#548, Group 20,
Otakam II Village, Svaypor Commune,
Battambang District, Battambang Province.
E-mail: EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead
Mobile: 012 365 454

September 18, 2006

Human Resource Manager
Department of Human Resource Management
ACLEDA Bank Plc.
#28, Mao Tse Tung Blvd. Sangkat Beung Trabek,
Khan Chamkarmon, Phnom Penh, Cambodia..

Dear Sir or Madam:

With reference to the job announcement which was posted on the ACLEDA’s news board, I would like to apply for the position of Credit Officer in your Bank. Please find enclosed a copy of my curriculum vitae giving a detail of qualifications are attached for your consideration.

I utterly believe that my knowledge in the areas of Business Administration, Principal Accounting, Intermediate Accounting, Financial Management, Financial Statement Analysis, Computers and other skill as detail in my curriculum vitae would be an asset to your organization. I am an enthusiastic and friendly person and enjoy working with person, both young and old.

My background and career goal seem fit to your requirement well. I am confident that I can perform the work effectively and efficienly.

At your convenience, I would appreciate your giving me the opportunity to discuss my qualifications in person, and I would be happy to come for an interview at your convenience. I can be reached at mobile phone: 012 365 454.

Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,



E Sophea

[Tdol]

giving a detail of- giving details of
are attached for your consideration- this seems unnecessary as you have already said 'enclosed'
I utterly believe- I would delete 'utterly'- let them make that sort of decision.
skill as detail- skills detailed
working with person- people (or- in a team???)
career goal- goals meet your requirements
efficienly- efficiently
At your convenience,- delete the first and leave the second
at- by
Thank you for your time and consideration.- Thanking you in advance for yout time and consideration, I lo9ok forward to hearing from you