another letter welcome corrected

[leolyy]

Here's a letter in the form of enquiry. All the words in bold indicate where I feel quite unsure and suffer from finding better expressions. Any corrections about those would be appreciated.

Thanks

Chengwei Liu



Dear Sir or Madam,

I learn from the Google’s newsgroup that the places can be rented for activities at your park. As the location of the park is favorable, I intend to have a rent and I am writing to enquire about some detailed circumstances/conditions. Any related response would be appreciated. Below is the details. 51

I am going to hold a picnic in late November. During that time, when will there be any places available at your park? How long in advance is the reservation supposed to be made? And, how much is the rent charge? Is there any deposit required? Also I wonder if there is any discount or if there are some preferential activities? 61

In order to make a good preparation for the picnic, tomorrow I would like to have a quick look at the surroundings inside the park. I hope you would provide me with further introductions or some specific items worth caution. 40

Thank you for your assistance. If you have any questions, please contact me at 012-345678. A prompt reply will be appreciated. 21

Yours sincerely,

[Tdol]

have a rent- rent one
details of the conditions
preferential activities- not sure why you're asking this. I would understand if you were asking about restrictions, but you have said you want a picnic
the surroundings inside the park- look around the park
specific items worth caution- restricted items??

[leolyy]

Thanks for the reply, Tdol

this is also a letter prepared for the test, not a real one, hehe,

by "preferential activities" i wanted to mean the situation similar to the discount: for example, McDonalds offten motivate people to come to eat by presenting some children toys after you buy there a suit of meal. so this is another kind of discount but not usual discount. so what is the proper or popular expression in english? can it be called "sales promotion"?

by "specific items worth caution" i wanted to mean some safety related things, such as fire protection or something, is it ok?

Thanks
Chengwei Liu

[Tdol]

1 That's a sales promotion to me
2 or provide me information aboput any health and safety issues