#1  
Old 02-Nov-2006, 01:24
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 4
Default Proof-read help!

Can you proof read this for me I need it to be more formal, and any mistakes corrected. (formal for a well-educated reader) Thanks.

Parents worried about their kids being grabbed by kidnappers have a new gimmick. Parents used to depend on taking photos with the old Polaroid or maybe getting a set of prints to stash in some computer file. But those methods aren’t foolproof. Kids grow up and out of what they looked like in photos, and prints can be kind of hard to match. Now scientists bugged by not having a really foolproof way to nail a kid’s identity have found a way that is looking good. Parents can get a sample of their baby’s DNA material, which has great gobs of information about that particular kid. There’s even a storage place set up for this in New Jersey. What’s on file there, if someone wants it, is enough info to take a sample and match it against a hair, piece of skin, or even a couple of dots of blood. This is called DNS “fingerprinting,” and it nails a kid’s identity positively. What’s really cool about this is that all the information from the genes stored at this place lasts as long as the person hangs around this planet – or longer. Grown-ups are pretty interested in getting themselves on file there too, especially those whose personal safety isn’t high because of a dangerous job.
  #2  
Old 02-Nov-2006, 19:53
curmudgeon's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,650
Member Type: Student or Learner
Default Re: Proof-read help!

Quote:
Originally Posted by playaa View Post
Can you proof read this for me I need it to be more formal, and any mistakes corrected. (formal for a well-educated reader) Thanks.
Parents worried about their children being kidnapped have a new weapon.

Until recently they were dependant on photographs taken with the trusty old Polaroid which they could store on a computer file.

However, these methods aren’t foolproof. Kids grow up and change how they looked like in photos, and even fingerprints can be hard to match.

Now, scientists, concerned by not having a really foolproof way to establish the victims identity, have found a way that looks positive

Parents can take a sample of their baby’s DNA material, which has massesof information about that individual.

There’s even a storage place set up for this in New Jersey. What’s on file there, if someone wants it, is enough information to take a sample and match it against a hair, piece of skin, or even a couple of dots of blood.

This is called DNS “fingerprinting,” and it positively identifies the individual child.

What’s really good about this is that all the information from the genes stored at lasts as long as the person is alive – or even longer.

Even adults are interested in getting themselves on record there too, especially those whose personal safety is at risk because of a dangerous job.

  #3  
Old 03-Nov-2006, 01:22
Newbie
Threadstarter  
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 4
Default Re: Proof-read help!

Thanks for the reply
  #4  
Old 11-Nov-2006, 03:52
RonBee's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 16,539
Home Country: United States
Native Language: American English
Current Location: United States
Member Type: Other
Post Re: Proof-read help!

I suspect that DNS is a typo. "DNS fingerprinting" seems more likely.

~R
  #5  
Old 11-Nov-2006, 04:34
curmudgeon's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,650
Member Type: Student or Learner
Default Re: Proof-read help!

Yep
  #6  
Old 11-Nov-2006, 04:42
RonBee's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Posts: 16,539
Home Country: United States
Native Language: American English
Current Location: United States
Member Type: Other
Default Re: Proof-read help!

I meant to say DNA fingerprinting.

  #7  
Old 11-Nov-2006, 05:12
curmudgeon's Avatar
Moderator
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 1,650
Member Type: Student or Learner
Default Re: Proof-read help!

Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
proofread, help


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Can one learn to read faster? Will General Language Discussions 32 27-Nov-2009 00:43
Please proof read this... nur Editing & Writing Topics 4 11-Sep-2006 06:29
Proof Read my CV...I need it very badly. sweetie_s CVs, Resumes and Applications 1 09-Feb-2006 00:14
proof read Anonymous Ask a Teacher 4 15-Nov-2003 11:01


All times are GMT. The time now is 12:22.



Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.