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Old 08-Jan-2007, 16:21
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Default Please check this short sentences

Hello, please check my grammar mistakes
Consequently, the matter is that they have developed a new path of communication in accordance to their situation. Moreover, this new kind of communication compared with the traditional family in Peru shows many differences, such as less parental participation in the privacy and preferences of their children, less time spent together, a mutual understanding of their differences in several aspects, and a common concern of their weakness, among others. Then, these new paths of communication and mutual understanding help to avoid family conflicts among family members.
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Old 09-Jan-2007, 02:36
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Default Re: Please check this short sentences

Consequently, the matter is that they have developed a new path- I'd delete 'the matter is that'
common concern of their weakness- concern for (what do you mean by 'weakness'? It doesn't mean much to me here)
Then,- Why not use 'therefore' as it's a formal text?
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