Essay to edit, pleae help :D

[dadimo]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. >

"I totally disagree with this statement, that seems to be uttered just to be confuted. Travelling in a group led by a tour guide is the negation of the fun and of the expierences that a trip should provide you with.

Some could argue that a guide can explain you things the existnce of which you wuoldn't even imagine, but I'd rather try and search for these things myself; where is the fun if not in the pursue of the unknown?
Furthermore, travelling with a guide doesn't allow you to have those expierences of which you will rememeber for your all life.
A prearranged path to follow can be reassuring for some travellers, but rather boring for others."


IS THIS FIRST PART GOOD ENOUGH TO GET A 7 IN THE IELTS TEST OR A CORRISPONDENT GOOD MARK IN THE TOEFL?
THANKS IN ADVANCE

[curmudgeon]

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. >

"I personally disagree with this statement as it seems to me be uttered just to be confute. Travelling in a group led by a tour guide is, to me, a dampener on the enjoyment and experiences that a trip of this kind should provide you with.

Some could argue that a guide can explain to you things, the existence of which you would never have imagined, but I'd rather try and search for these things myself; where is the fun if not in the pursuit of the unknown?

Furthermore, travelling with a guide prevents you from experiencing unique moments which you will remember for the rest of your life.

A prearranged path to follow can be reassuring for some travellers, but rather boring for others."


IS THIS FIRST PART GOOD ENOUGH TO GET A 7 IN THE IELTS TEST OR A CORRISPONDENT GOOD MARK IN THE TOEFL?
THANKS IN ADVANCE

I don't know if it is good enough. I am not an examiner. The word 'confute' is rather good though

[dadimo]

thanks for the corrections... I LIIIIIIIIIIKE (Borat)