Please check my work

[Raiph]

This is a essay of about 300 words. My essay is required to concern the causes of work-related stress and the solution given to deal with the problem.

Keep the work-related stress away

Nowadays ,people are living in a world of pressure , which comes from school , family and work etc. Work-related stress heads the causes of pressure. With the ever-increasing amount of work load, people are so overwhelmed by what they have to do that they find difficult dealing with this stress. What’s more ,the higher-and-higher demand of the quality also accounts for the greater work-related stress than before.
Under this context , it is important to know how to free ourselves form too much stress so that we can work more efficiently . Here I will show you some ways according to my experience .Firstly , listening to music is undoubtedly a good way to relive stress and refresh yourself. Although all kinds of music will function in this way, the light music is proved to do the best job. If you don’t like music, a small talk also does wonder for you. Try to have a chat with your family or friends when your are stressful , which can help you release frustration by having an open chat with them. If you always bottle up the pressure it’ll certainly result in worse situation . And Some people might go to see the doctor and receive treatment . For my part, books rather than pills can help the stressful persons more. Try to pick up the habit of reading books every evening , you will soon find the joy of reading and forget the disgusting things happening during the day. Furthermore, it is much cheaper.
If you are suffering too much stress form work and cannot cope with it. Why not try my way. They do work. From now on, say goodbye to your work-related stress.

Thank you for checking

[clam36]

Good job! But you should organise your different ideas in different paragraphs!Without making it, it will look like a total mess!If you don't do it and don't make it not so big and not so small it will not make a good first impression on the reader which is very important you know!
Because when you see a composition like yours without different paragraphs you will read it with not so good feelings!And u will always find mistakes!Although these things your composition is very very good!!!

[Raiph]

Thank you

[Teia]

This is an essay of about 300 words. My essay is required to consider the causes of work-related stress and the solutions given to deal with this problem.
Keep the work-related stress away

Nowadays ,people are living in a world of pressure , generated by school , family , work, etc. Work-related stress is the leading cause of pressure. With the ever-increasing amount of work , people are so overwhelmed with what they have to do that they find dealing with this stress difficult. What’s more ,the higher-and-higher demand for the quality also accounts for the greater work-related stress than before.
In this context , it is important to know how to free ourselves from too much stress so that we can work more efficiently . Here I will show you some ways according to my own experience .Firstly , listening to music is undoubtedly a good way to reduce /release yourself from /stress and refresh yourself. Although all kinds of music function this way, the light music has been proved to do the best job. If you don’t like music, a small talk also does wonders for you. Try to have an open chat with your family or friends when your are stressed and this can help you release your feelings of frustration. If you always bottle up the pressure it’ll certainly result in worse situations . And some people might go to see a doctor and receive treatment . For my part/As far as I am concerned/ In my opinion, books rather than pills can help the stressed people more. Try to take up the habit of reading books every evening , you will soon find the joy of reading and forget the disgusting / unpleasant things that happened during the day. Furthermore, it is much cheaper.
If you are suffering from too much work related stress and cannot cope with it ,why not try my way? It really works. From now on, say goodbye to your work-related stress.

Just one more suggestion :I`d choose "troublesome" ,"annoying" or even better ,"unpleasant" instead of "disgusting". "Disgusting" seems rather harsh to me, but you may be right in your choice, here.
Hope it helps

[Raiph]

Thank you for taking the trouble to rewrite my composition. I really appreciate your favor.

[Teia]

Originally Posted by Raiph

Thank you for taking the trouble to rewrite my composition. I really appreciate your favor.

You are most welcome!

[roshen]

it looks good