Formal e-mail

[ignatius1221]

Hi everyone, I am new at this and I need some help (I believe this is what everyone says at begining) I need to write a formal e-mail. Here is my draft, but I am not totally convinced, I mean, I think there is something wrong, could anyone help me out here? Thanks

----
Dear Mr. XXX,
I write to you in order to ask you for some information about IACAP. At the moment I reside in Argentina and I am very interested in doing philosophical research on those topics members of IACAP do. This is why I would need information about people who are doing this kind of research in Latin America (specially here in Argentina)
On the other hand, I am planning to study abroad, but I could not find any PhD schoolarships for latin-americans and I would like to know if there are any. My case is quite particular since I've got my degree on Computer Science and I'm getting my degree on Philosophy this year. I am also a researcher in a group that is interested on the philosophical problems of Scientific Simulation and Representation (with special care on lectures about computational simulation).
Maybe this information could give you some idea about my philosophical interest and give me some orientation about what to do and what could be done.

Thank you very much
Yours sincerely
-----

[Tdol]

I write- I am writing
ask you for- request
on those topics members of IACAP do- unclear- on topics that IACAP members research???
On the other hand, - Furthermore,
I've got my degree on- I have graduated in xxx and will graduate in xxx this year
interested on- in
special care- in particular
Maybe this information could- I hope this information will...
give me some orientation- and that you will be able to give...

[A.Russell]

It's good to try to find templates for this sort of thing. Check your e-mail and word processing software or consult a style guide.

Here is an example:

[space]

[Date] (though your e-mail will attach a date anyway, you might be old fashioned and do this)

[Title and Address of Recipient]


Dear Mr. XXX,

I am writing to request some information about IACAP, and I am interested to know of any opportunities available for scholarships abroad.

At the moment I reside in Argentina, and I am very interested in doing philosophical research with members of the IACAP. I am especially interested in members who are doing research in Latin America, particularly here in Argentina.

I would like to study abroad. I have a degree in Computer Science and I will complete a degree in Philosophy this year. I also do research with a group that is interested on the philosophical problems of Scientific Simulation and Representation (with emphasis on lectures about computational simulation).

Hopefully that gives you some insight to my philosophical interest and perhaps you can advise me about opportunities to work with the IACAP.

Yours sincerely,



Ignattius


[Your address and contact information here]

[some more space]




Don't use contracted forms in a formal letter, i.e I am, not I'm.

A good idea with formal e-mails is to request a read receipt. Check your e-mail user manual if you don't know how to do that.

Even if you use HTML formatting, also include a plain text version. If you use HTML, use an ordinary seriffed font like Times New Roman.

The title of your e-mail should be short, clear and use capital lettters. e.g:

Request for Information


Good luck!

[ignatius1221]

Thank you very much, I really appreciate what you did.

Thanks

Ignatius