IELTS WRITING TASK2 Music

[dadimo]

I will be grateful to anyone who will correct my essay or will give me a piece of advice,
thanks in advance

Davide

The are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

"The types of music that nowadays are part of our lives are simply infinite. From the one of the remote triboos of Oceania's islands to the american country music or the International pop, everyone can enjoy the most different sounds and voices singing in thousands of different languages.

There would be no human being who, asked whether he listens to any sort of music, would reply positively. Music has always existed since the first man was able to create a rhythm. The last concept is something unexplicable; why do people need rhythm? I do not have an answer for this question because music goes beyond any explanation.

All the various kinds of music can give an unrepeatable expierence. Whether it comes from massive drums or from the cordsof a violine, the melody transforms us, allows us to enjoy life as nothing else than peace or anger or pleasure, so many are the sensations that can be produced within us when listening to a certain sound.

It does not really matter then, where the music comes from or with which instrument it is played as long as it represents the very sound that can touch our soul."

[RonBee]

Instead of the International pop say international pop.

Say our souls or the soul.

~R

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by dadimo

The are many different types of music in the world today. Why do we need music? Is the traditional music of a country more important than the International music that is heard everywhere nowadays?

You broached several different subjects in that paragraph. You might want to make several different paragraphs.

Originally Posted by dadimo

"The types of music that nowadays are part of our lives are simply infinite. From the one of the remote triboos of Oceania's islands to the american country music or the International pop, everyone can enjoy the most different sounds and voices singing in thousands of different languages.

Quote marks are supposed to come in pairs.

Try:

The types of music that are a part of our lives are many and varied.

Try:

From the music of the remote tribes of Oceania to American country music to international pop, everyone can enjoy the various sounds of voices singing in thousands of different languages.

Originally Posted by dadimo

There would be no human being who, asked whether he listens to any sort of music, would reply positively. Music has always existed since the first man was able to create a rhythm. The last concept is something unexplicable; why do people need rhythm? I do not have an answer for this question because music goes beyond any explanation.

Rewrite. Make that something the reader can understand.

Originally Posted by dadimo

All the various kinds of music can give an unrepeatable expierence. Whether it comes from massive drums or from the cordsof a violine, the melody transforms us, allows us to enjoy life as nothing else than peace or anger or pleasure, so many are the sensations that can be produced within us when listening to a certain sound.

The beauty of music is that it is a repeatable (pleasurable) experience. What would be the point in trying to reproduce an unrepeatable experience?

Rewrite that so the reader can understand what you are trying to say.

Originally Posted by dadimo

It does not really matter then, where the music comes from or with which instrument it is played as long as it represents the very sound that can touch our soul."

Well, you have the start of something.