Please edit my essay.

[chichiu57]

"In twenty years, we will be living in a better world. Progress is something that cannot be stopped." Agree or disagree.

I agree with this statement. To begin with, I need to make a clear

viewpoint of what I think a better world is needed. The better world

must consists of well-developed civilizations and high technologies.

It is no doubt that these two requirements are still proceeding; indeed,

they are something can not be stopped.

First, in twenty years, most of communities and countries will be

well civilized. It is obviously that such a proceeding is unstoppable; for

example, during the past few years, the world's agricultural industry

has significantly improved, nor to mention the population densities. The

Agricultural Departments, which have investigated a variety of tools for

farming usages, have provided them to the farmers.

Last, in twenty years, the world's technology developments will

approach to their high, or reach to a breaking point. Growing speed of

computer technology for an example, the techniques of software

programming, webpage designing, internet accessing and windows

developing have grown dramatically. Another example, after the

astronaut, Armstrong, conquered the moon, the United States has

been setting their target on the Mars, and a spaceship will be sent

within twenty years!

In conclusion, civilizations and technologies are what make a better

world; although the developing process on both elements have their

advantages as well as their disadvantages, the developments can no

be stopped.

THANKS!

[aous02]

"In twenty years, we will be living in a better world. Progress is something that cannot be stopped." Agree or disagree.

I agree with this statement. To begin with, I need to make a clear

viewpoint of (I think it should be "on") what I think a better world needs. A better world

must consists of well-developed civilizations and high technologies.

It is no doubt that these two requirements are still proceeding; indeed,

they are something we can't stop.



First, in twenty years, most of communities and countries will be

well civilized. It is obviously that such a process is unstoppable; for

example, during the past few years, the world's agricultural industry

has significantly improved, not to mention the population densities. The

Agricultural Departments, which have investigated a variety of tools for

farming usages, have provided them to the farmers.



Last, in twenty years, the world's technology developments will

approach to their high, or reach to ( we say "to rech something" not "to reach to something") a breaking point. The Growing speed of

computer technology for an example, the techniques of software

programming, webpage designing, internet accessing and windows

developing have grown dramatically. Another example, after the

astronaut, Armstrong, conquered the moon, the United States has

been setting their target on the Mars, and a spaceship will be sent

within twenty years!



In conclusion, civilizations and technologies are what make a better

world; although the developing process on both elements have ( the verb here refers to the "process of developing". It should be singular "has") their

advantages as well as their disadvantages, the developments can not

be stopped.



I didn't correct all the mistakes.
A teacher or a native speaker can help you better.

[chichiu57]

Thanks for the corrections, Aous02.

[aous02]

You are most welcome.