Could you please check my FCE-preparation essay?

[chrisieck]

A scary night

It was a dark and stormy night in August four years ago. My parents have been on holiday to France, so I was staying alone at home.
It was nothing new for me to stay alone at home, so at the first time I was not scared.
But then it happened. I was lying in front of the television when the phone rang. I answered the phone without any fear, but suddenly I was scared. The voice on the phone sounded horrible and said that someone is going to kill me tonight. After that I frightened so much that I hid behind a cupboard.
A few minutes later the doorbell rang and somebody was knocking on a window and shouted: "Come out you little girl!"
I don’t know why, but I took the courage to open the front door. My heart was beating so much. Suddenly someone was jumping out behind a tree, it was my father. From the first moment on I knew that he was joking on me, but the only thing I did was bursting out into laughing.

[lmontdewalt]

I corrected your paper for you.


A scary night

It was a dark and stormy night in August four years ago. My parents had been on holiday in France, so I was staying alone at home.
It was nothing new for me to stay alone at home, so, at first, I was not scared.
But then it happened. I was lying in front of the television when the phone rang. I answered the phone without any fear, but suddenly I was scared. The voice on the phone sounded horrible and said that someone is going to kill me tonight. After that I frightened so much that I hid behind a cupboard.
A few minutes later the doorbell rang and somebody was knocking on a window and shouted: "Come out little girl!"
I don’t know why, but I got the courage to open the front door. My heart was beating so much. Suddenly someone was jumping out from behind a tree, it was my father. From that moment on I knew that he was joking with me, but the only thing I did was burst into laughter.

[chrisieck]

Thank you for your quick help, much faster than my English teacher :)