plz somebody check my essay plzzzzz

[ghai_prince13]

18.3 write a short report natural disaster and people behavior during this time.
Natural disasters are those disasters which occur do to uncertainly in nature. They probably produce fewer headlines wars than volcanic eruption, tsunami. As natural disasters are very powerful. It’s causes huge damage to our peaceful environment. There are many disasters. These are as follows: tsunami, floods, volcanic eruption, etc. As these disasters are not predicable, people get panic.


1.3. Imagine, that you take part in the international conference where influence of youth music on style of a life of teenagers is discussed. Write the brief text of the performance
Music has a great influence on people. It’s mostly seen among the younger generation. There are many kinds of music like pop, some like jazz while others like rock. The teenagers try to copy favorite stars. There style, fashion. The trends all come over from the music and music videos.
But some bad effects of music are that many singers take drugs, smoke, drink alcohol. These all effect the teenagers and spoil them. The teenagers copy stars and thus go with such things and ideas blindly. So it would be much better for people just listen to the music and avoid copying the bad habits.

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by ghai_prince13

18.3 write a short report [on or about] natural disaster [a natural disaster OR natural disasters] and people's behavior during this time.

Natural disasters are those disasters which occur do to uncertainly in nature. They probably produce fewer headlines wars than volcanic eruption, tsunami. As natural disasters are very powerful. It’s causes huge damage to our peaceful environment. There are many disasters. These are as follows: tsunami, floods, volcanic eruption, etc. As these disasters are not predicable, people get panic.


1.3. Imagine, that you take part in the [an] international conference where [the] influence of youth music on style of a life of teenagers is discussed. Write the brief text of the performance

Music has a great influence on people. It’s mostly seen among the younger generation. There are many kinds of music like pop, some like jazz while others like rock. The teenagers try to copy favorite stars. There style, fashion. The trends all come over from the music and music videos.
But some bad effects of music are that many singers take drugs, smoke, drink alcohol. These all effect the teenagers and spoil them. The teenagers copy stars and thus go with such things and ideas blindly. So it would be much better for people just listen to the music and avoid copying the bad habits.

Your writing is not well planned. it is repetitious and keeps saying the same things. You must make a logical progression in the topics.

In the first piece - start by saying what is a natural disaster; then describe different disasters; then say what effect it/they have on the environment; then say how people behave.

In the second piece - You start well. But you must then say what are different kinds of pop music; then say something why people like the different kinds of music; then say something about the influence of pop stars; then finish with your last sentence.

Re-write and let us see how you do.