Scholarship Letter - Please! help me edit

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My name is *****. Recently a high school graduate, I will be studying Life Sciences in the fall with the goal of becoming a physician in the near future. My decision to enroll in Life Science was easy because simply learning about how the world works, as well as, my place in it has intrigued me ever since a young age. Not only have I always been asking questions regarding my surroundings but I have also always tried to find an answer. My interest in science flourished when I was introduced to Biology during my senior high school years. I was introduced to a course where it seems all the answers to my questions were just a flip of the page. Every chapter seem to answer more and more of my questions, answer seemed to be “jumping” out of the book. In the mist of taking my final year of high school Biology I knew then and there I wanted to major in science.

Currently living with my parents in an urban house, I am eligible for the ***** Admission Scholarship because I had selected ***** College as the college of choice.
Unfortunately during my first year of post–secondary studies my parents will be providing financial support towards my tuition and other expenditures that will be associated throughout the duration of this academic year. During the latter stages of high school, I had finalized my decision to take Data Management during the summer. As a result, this put me at a disadvantage for employment opportunities because the jobs I had applied for had been looking for students who were able to work the entire summer. While financially I may be at a lost, I truly feel I the right decision was made as this course, Data Management, very well may help me during my university studies should I enroll in a statistics course. Personally knowing I gave myself the best opportunity and advantage to succeed in university I believe is the real victory. Currently I do not have a part time job; however, this does not deter me from pursuing one throughout the course of the year. Mainly, I do not wish to place a financial burden solely on my parents’ shoulder but rather endeavor as much as possible. As an adult, I feel obligated to start acting like one and part of the responsibility is to manage ones’ own financial ­­­­state of affairs. For the 2007–2008 academic year I had apply for OSAP assistance and was granted approval.

I am a very devoted person who enjoys learning. Whether it is academics, sports or anything I am a part of, I am determined to succeed and perform at my highest potential. In my academics I enjoy learning and thinking rather than straightforward memorization. As well, I believe textbooks and theories are only a fraction of the learning spectrum. I love hands on activities where I am able to witness intrinsically what are being depicted in the textbooks therefore have a much more extensive understanding. In my final year of high school I have gone through more of a self–assigned orientated path of learning and it has paid off because I feel more confident entering post-secondary school. Additionally, due to a lot of self–directed learning, I managed to finish in the top 8% in this year’s Waterloo Chem News 13 Exam and top in my school. I hoped you enjoyed reading my letter as much as I did writing.