Pls give me a hand. I needs some helps..

[luciexoxo]

by the ways R~ ! Thanks for the corrections even though you didnt finished the whole piece.

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by luciexoxo

The iPod story struck up when Jon Rubinstein, the creator of iPod, who wanted to make a small and convenient music player rather than a heavy and clunky CD player.

Say:

The iPod story struck up when Jon Rubinstein wanted to make a small and convenient music player rather than a heavy and clunky CD player.

[mykwyner]

After rereading your essay and corespondence, I take back the plaigarism accusation. Still, what's with the "I needs some helps"? Did you try to sound like a beginning learner on purpose so that more teachers would read your post?

[luciexoxo]

Originally Posted by mykwyner

After rereading your essay and corespondence, I take back the plaigarism accusation. Still, what's with the "I needs some helps"? Did you try to sound like a beginning learner on purpose so that more teachers would read your post?

Yeah, right! If I don't act like a beginner, ppl won't even check my work! "I needs some helps" sounds pretty funny, eh?

[luciexoxo]

Originally Posted by RonBee

Say:

The iPod story struck up when Jon Rubinstein wanted to make a small and convenient music player rather than a heavy and clunky CD player.

Um? What's wrong with "Jon Rubinstein, the creator of iPod, who wanted to make .."

[mykwyner]

Okay, I guess I owe you a few suggestions:

1000 songs in your Pockets-Introducing iPod


How can you put one thousand songs in your pocket? The answer is simple. Get one of those ubiquitous iPods because they can store countless songs within a few seconds. Today, iPods have become our causal portable media players which also feature many incredible functions. Because they are so tiny and light it is extremely easy to carry one around.

However, iPods did not start out as slim as today’s iPod Nanos. They were thick and did not have the sensitive control wheels. The first generation of iPod was introduced on October 23rd, 2001 by Jon Rubinstein (an engineer who works for Steve Jobs). They weren’t popular at all due to their high prices.

The iPod story began when Jon Rubinstein, the creator of iPod, wanted to make a small and convenient music player to replace the heavy and clunky CD players. He noted that portable music players such as CD and cassette players could not store very many songs and they were inconvenient for the music lovers. He then conferred about this with Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple, and Jobs encouraged him to pursue his dream.

Following his dream, Rubinstein went to Toshiba (Apple’s supplier in Japan) in February, 2001 to check if there were any existing hardware that could be used to make a simplified music player. Astoundingly, the executives of Toshiba showed him a newly invented small hard drive which was about 1.8 inches, but they did not have a good use for it. According to Rubinstein’s knowledge on hardware, he abruptly got the idea of making a tiny music player.

With his brand new idea, Tony Fadell, the engineer, was hired to assist Rubinstein in creating this formidable mini music player. Quickly, Fadell was then put in charge of a team of engineers and designers. The materials that they used were: a drive from Toshiba, a battery from Sony and some control chips from Texas Instruments. Later on, Phil Schiller, the head of marketing, introduced the scroll wheel.

After a while, the name of the music player was conceived by an American Copywriter named Vinnie Chieco. He said,”Open the pod bay door, Hal!” and the name “pod” was frequently being considered by the corporation. Due to the prefix “i” on Apple’s other products (iMac), the “i” was added to the “pod” and it became today’s “iPod”.

Within a few months, the first generation of iPod was introduced to the public on October 23, 2001. In the following years, four newer generations were introduced to the public. iPod Shuffle was the first model to use flash memory instead of hard drive storage. The iPod Mini and iPod Nano were then subsequently introduced to the public between 2004 and 2006. Most of the later iPods such as the Nanos and Video iPods could save up to a thousand songs within a few seconds! (Note: If you've ever loaded songs on to an iPod you'd know that it is fast, but it would take quite a few hours to load 1,000 songs.)

Around 2006, the iPod immediately lightened up the music world. Mary J. Blige, a Grammy Award winner once said that iPod is more than just a music player; it’s an extension of your personality and a great way to take your favorite music with you everywhere you go. Another Grammy winner, John Mayer said, “Without the iPod, the digital music age would have been defined by files and folders instead of songs.” In addition, U2, an Irish band, has represented the forth generation of iPod- the Video iPods.

iPods are now functional and down to earth, apolitical and unisexual. They have become today’s fashion icons. Jon Rubinstein has made his dream come true. The world is now utterly surrounded by iPods. Truly, iPods have kept the spirit of what it means to be a music lover.

I may have missed a few things.

[RonBee]

The reader will want to know what Jon Rubinstein was doing before he created the iPod, not that the creator of the iPod created the iPod.

~R

[RonBee]

Re:

The iPod story began when Jon Rubinstein, the creator of iPod, wanted to make a small and convenient music player to replace the heavy and clunky CD players.

At that time he had not created the iPod, so he was not the creator of the iPod. Instead, he would earn that title after he created the iPod. Perhaps:

Jon Rubinstein, an engineer, wanted to make a small and convenient music player to replace the heavy and clunky CD players.

~R

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by luciexoxo

by the ways R~ ! Thanks for the corrections even though you didnt finished the whole piece.

Did you mean to say didn't finish? Anyhow, it could be true that the fewer the better. You are supposed to (IMO) learn how to do this on your own.

~R

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by luciexoxo

Following his dream, Rubinstein went to Toshiba (Apple’s supplier in Japan) on February, 2001 to check if there were any possible hardware could be used to make a simplified music player. Astoundingly, the executives of Toshiba showed him a new invented small drive which was about 1.8 inches, but they did not know what it was for. According to Rubinstein’s knowledge on hardware, he abruptly got an idea on making a tiny music player.

Pursuing his dream, Rubinstein went to Toshiba (Apple’s supplier in Japan) in February, 2001 to check if there was any hardware that could be used to make a simplified music player. The executives of Toshiba showed him a new hard small drive which was about 1.8 inches wide, but they did not know what to do with it.From that Rubinstein got the inspiration for making a tiny music player.

Originally Posted by luciexoxo

With his brand new idea, Tony Fadell the engineer was hired to assist Rubinstein to create this formidable mini music player. Quickly, Fadell was then put in charge of a team of engineers and designers. The materials that they used were: a drive from Toshiba, a battery from Sony and some control chips from Texas. Later on, Phil Schiller the head of marketing introduced the scroll wheeler.

Tony Fadell, an engineer, was hired to assist Rubinstein to create this formidable mini music player. Fadell was then promptly put in charge of a team of engineers and designers. The materials that they used were: a hard drive from Toshiba, a battery from Sony and some control chips from Texas Instruments. Later on, Phil Schiller, the head of marketing, introduced the scroll wheel.

~R