Pls give me a hand. I needs some helps..

[luciexoxo]

OMG! I can't believe this! You guys actaully edited my essay! I love you people! Great work! Keep it up! Thank you very much indeeddd!!!! I will post more essays!

Thanks once again!

[luciexoxo]

Did you mean to say didn't finish? Anyhow, it could be true that the fewer the better. You are supposed to (IMO) learn how to do this on your own.

~R

Yes, I am still trying to proofread BUT English isn't my first lanuage! THEREFORE, I have no clue how to edit my own essays..so is there a tip for proofreading for a foreigner?

[RonBee]

Yes, I am still trying to proofread BUT English isn't my first language! THEREFORE, I have no clue how to edit my own essays..so is there a tip for proofreading for a foreigner?

You just have to read what you wrote looking for mistakes. You have to be willing to delete (take out) things you might have thought were wonderful at first. If it doesn't fit get rid of it. You want the writing to be readable. Don't make paragraphs that are too long. (And be sure to make paragraphs.) Don't run your sentences together. (Be sure to space between sentences.) Space after end punctuation marks (but not before). Strive for clarity. If I am proofreading something I will correct every single mistake. However, if I point out what the mistakes are and you find them for yourself you will get better at that quicker. (However, I often will simply make corrections.) Sometimes I will ask questions hoping the writer will look for the answers and in doing so will find inspiration. (That hasn't worked out so far very well.)

If posters would more often read some of the essays that have been previously posted, perhaps they wouldn't make so many of the same mistakes as have been made previously.

When I do ask a question I am hoping to get an answer. But it is not because I want to know the answer. It is because I hope that the person I pose the question to will figure out the answer for himself. In any case, the hope is that learning will take place.

~R

[luciexoxo]

Mr. R! You sound like an articulate person! From now on, I am not going to type my "msn lanuage"! I want to be just like you "a native English speaker"! Well, that's very hard but I will try my best to improve my writing and speaking skills. I have to be very diligent! Thanks for the advice! I love it very much! Thank you so much! I would give you a big hug if I were beside you! Thanks Thanks * 10000! I really appreciate your help.

=====)

[RonBee]

You are very welcome.

[RonBee]

Hm.

How can you put one thousand songs in your pocket? The answer is simple. Get one of those ubiquitous iPods because they can store countless songs within a few seconds. Today, iPods have become our causal portable media players which also feature many incredible functions. Because they are so tiny and light it is extremely easy to carry one around.However, iPods did not start out as slim as today’s iPod Nanos. They were thick and did not have the sensitive control wheels.

How can you put one thousand songs in your pocket? The answer is simple. Get one of those ubiquitous iPods. because they can store countless songs within a few seconds. Today, iPods have become our causal portable media players which feature many amazing functions. Because they are so tiny and light it is extremely easy to carry one around. However, iPods did not start out as slim as today’s iPod Nanos. They were thick and did not have the sensitive control wheels the latest models have.

amazing - tending to amaze (You could also keep incredible.)

The first generation of iPod was introduced on October 23rd, 2001 by Jon Rubinstein (an engineer who works for Steve Jobs). They weren’t popular at all due to their high prices.The iPod story began when Jon Rubinstein, the engineer, wanted to make a small and convenient music player to replace the heavy and clunky CD players. He noted that portable music players such as CD and cassette players could not store very many songs and they were inconvenient for the music lovers.

The first generation of iPod was introduced on October 23rd, 2001 by Jon Rubinstein (an engineer who works for Steve Jobs). They weren’t popular at all due to their high prices. The iPod story began when Jon Rubinstein, an engineer, wanted to make a small and convenient music player to replace the heavy and clunky CD players. He noted that portable music players such as CD players and cassette players could not store very many songs and they were inconvenient for music lovers.

He then conferred about this with Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple, and Jobs encouraged him to pursue his dream.Following his dream, Rubinstein went to Toshiba (Apple’s supplier in Japan) in February, 2001 to check if there were any existing hardware that could be used to make a simplified music player. Astoundingly, the executives of Toshiba showed him a newly invented small hard drive which was about 1.8 inches, but they did not have a good use for it. According to Rubinstein’s knowledge on hardware, he abruptly got the idea of making a tiny music player.

He then conferred about this with Steve Jobs, the CEO of Apple, and Jobs encouraged him to pursue his dream. Rubinstein went to Toshiba (Apple’s supplier in Japan) in February, 2001 too see if there was any existing hardware that could be used to make a simplified music player. The executives of Toshiba showed him a newly invented small hard drive which was about 1.8 inches long. It was something they didn't yet have a good use for. Putting two and two together, Rubinstein got the idea of making a tiny music player.

A thing can't be simply 1.8 inches. That figure has to describe some dimension. Also, you didn't need those sentence adverbs.


Be sure that when you use the word "but" in a sentence that it contradicts something that came before.

With his brand new idea, Tony Fadell, the engineer, was hired to assist Rubinstein in creating this formidable mini music player. Quickly, Fadell was then put in charge of a team of engineers and designers. The materials that they used were: a drive from Toshiba, a battery from Sony and some control chips from Texas Instruments. Later on, Phil Schiller, the head of marketing, introduced the scroll wheel.

Tony Fadell, an engineer, was hired to assist Rubinstein in creating this formidable mini music player. Fadell was then put in charge of a team of engineers and designers. The materials that they used were: a hard drive from Toshiba, a battery from Sony and some control chips from Texas Instruments. Later on, Phil Schiller, the head of marketing, introduced the scroll wheel.

After a while, the name of the music player was conceived by an American Copywriter named Vinnie Chieco. He said,”Open the pod bay door, Hal!” and the name “pod” was frequently being considered by the corporation. Due to the prefix “i” on Apple’s other products (iMac), the “i” was added to the “pod” and it became today’s “iPod”.Within a few months, the first generation of iPod was introduced to the public on October 23, 2001.

The name of the music player was conceived by an American copywriter named Vinnie Chieco. He said,”Open the pod bay door, Hal!” and the name “pod” was frequently being considered by the corporation for its new product. Due to the prefix “i” on Apple’s other products (iMac), the “i” was added to the “pod” and it became today’s “iPod”. The first generation of iPod was introduced to the public on October 23, 2001.

What was the context in which Mr. Chieco said what he said? ("Hal" is the name of the computer in the movie 2001.)

In the following years, four newer generations were introduced to the public. iPod Shuffle was the first model to use flash memory instead of hard drive storage. The iPod Mini and iPod Nano were then subsequently introduced to the public between 2004 and 2006. Most of the later iPods such as the Nanos and Video iPods could save up to a thousand songs within a few seconds! (Note: If you've ever loaded songs on to an iPod you'd know that it is fast, but it would take quite a few hours to load 1,000 songs.)

In the following years, four newer generations were introduced to the public. The iPod Shuffle was the first model to use flash memory instead of hard drive storage. The iPod Mini and iPod Nano were subsequently introduced to the public between 2004 and 2006. Most of the later iPods such as the Nanos and Video iPods could save quite a few songs within a very short time.

Relevance!

Around 2006, the iPod immediately lightened up the music world. Mary J. Blige, a Grammy Award winner once said that iPod is more than just a music player; it’s an extension of your personality and a great way to take your favorite music with you everywhere you go. Another Grammy winner, John Mayer said, “Without the iPod, the digital music age would have been defined by files and folders instead of songs.” In addition, U2, an Irish band, has represented the forth generation of iPod- the Video iPods.iPods are now functional and down to earth, apolitical and unisexual. They have become today’s fashion icons. Jon Rubinstein has made his dream come true. The world is now utterly surrounded by iPods. Truly, iPods have kept the spirit of what it means to be a music lover.

Around 2006, the iPod lightened up the music world. Mary J. Blige, a Grammy Award winner, once said that the iPod is more than just a music player; it’s an extension of your personality and a great way to take your favorite music with you everywhere you go. Another Grammy winner, John Mayer, said, “Without the iPod, the digital music age would have been defined by files and folders instead of songs.” In addition, U2, an Irish band, has represented the forth generation of iPod- the Video iPods. iPods are now functional and down to earth, apolitical and unisexual. They have become today’s fashion icons. Jon Rubinstein has made his dream come true. The world is now utterly surrounded by iPods. Truly, iPods have kept the spirit of what it means to be a music lover.

[Great]

Nice guys , they are active

[Great]

good luck everybody