I'd like to be a good writer.

[Fleur de mort]

How to write a story? I don't want to use ''he said she said'' more than one hundred times.
What is your advices?
I wrote this story(it's not complete)
but I'd like to know is it a good idea to write as this way?

It was a cold December night. Some children playing on the street. I usually allergic to the cold weather, cup of tea and sad music. I can glance some little girls who dance by their hair. Shortly, I smelt cigarette fume. I felt some steps walking behind me. I've always feared of men. The steps kept its walking. I held my cup of tea strongly and covered my face by my hair. I've not worn veil. Only decent clothes with a heavy scarf. suddenly, some one came to me and whispered slowly: it's cold today. I still sit as nothing happened. This voice is so velvet and cottony. He sat opposite to me. Oh are you sure you are a real human!? ''I asked myself''. I didn't mind how much he was handsome. I run away of him. I quickly got home. I lay back on my bed.

[bianca]

One little advice that I can give you: your piece of writing looks descriptive, and so the words (I think) must flow smoothly like rivers, in long sentences. Your sentences are all very short; the reading is sacadated and bothersome.
Write simply, truthfully, and from deep inside of yourself. Dumas said a writer needs a passion and four walls.

[Fleur de mort]

Did you mean I haven't a passion in my writing?

Thank you Bianca I really appreciate your advice.
I'll try.

[bianca]

Did you mean I haven't a passion in my writing?

Hey, you misunderstood me. I only said, matter-of-factly, that good writing stems out of passion. I didn't mean that you don't have that, on the contrary!!!

[Fleur de mort]

Bianca

[Veron1]

Just start writing
And read a lot to have an idea about other writers(how to think ,describe...)
Step by step you will be a good write

Have a look:Englishbiz - Story
I.A

[nyggus]

Exactly: read and read and read, and then read. Read different kinds of prose and poetry. And most notably, learn English. Without this your writing won't be clear and comprehensible. Learn grammar. Learn style. Learn various constructions; believe me, English is very rich in various sentence constructions that make your writing flow. Use long sentences and short sentences, use commas and semicolons and dashes; your writing must be fluent and rich - otherwise the reader will fall asleep after reading ten lines (if gets through them whatsoever!). Every word, phrase, sentence and paragraph is important. If incomprehensible and boring, even writing with passion will not find audience.

Read reference books on how to write. And practice: write and write and write, and then write. Writing is a beautiful thing and I am happy you want to learn it. But first of all it's really difficult, especially for those for whom the language they wish to write is not a native language (like for me).

Note that I am not evaluating your piece, but giving you my advices. I am not a good writer, but am working very hard on it. First of all I am focusing on English, because without the very deep knowledge of the language writing has no chance to become good, not to mention - excellent.

Another thing is, always remember that people vary and their tastes vary. Some will say your piece is excellent whereas others will say it's a piece of rubbish. Note that even very good books find their fans and foes. Always mull over both kinds of opinions and try to conclude from them on your writing.

And always - ALWAYS - be as critical for yourself as possible: this is very, very difficult, but this is a key to exclude all flaws from your own piece that you're able to find. To do it, revise, revise, revise, and then revise your piece. Revise even short posts of yours on this forum: read them three or five times and look for mistakes.

I loved Bianca's comments. And by the way, look how Bianca writes her posts - her writing has this great flow that makes even reading three lines of her post give pleasure.

All the best,
Nyggus

[Neither a teacher nor a NES]

[Fleur de mort]

I think I should read hard to improve my hobby. Then I'll try writing. The problem is my emotion when I need to show my feelings to another members.

[bianca]

The problem is my emotion when I need to show my feelings to another members.

I have read your poetry/prose or attempts thereof, and I got the idea that you do have the courage to speak your mind when writing to an unknown audience. It is something akin to innocence - you are not constrained by biases/conventions, you are true to yourself. Writing fiction is much about violating rules and following your inner instinct; it is about imagination and fantasy. Much writing is shrewdly immersed by politics, it is not written for the individual, but for the subject. It doesn't appeal to the essence in Man. Good writing is truth, you need to track it down like a detective and entice your reader to join you every step of the way. Every word counts, because words have a magic power - they can kill you, and they can give you life. You must have an idea as to how to organize your writing depending on what genre you choose, but don't structure anything until you're done writing. More ideas will be under way, while you are straightening it all up. This is my two-cents worth - my problem is that I lack your courage to become a writer. Hats off to you!

[Fleur de mort]

Yes Bianca I know you are right. I'm not shy to show my writing. I know my grammatical mistakes. My vocabularys are poor. I desperately need to improve it. Also, my sentences need more details and deep description.
I can't stop thinking of men. I relly need to write for them.
Why God create you men?

my problem is that I lack your courage to become a writer

Bianca I've read your writing to improve my skills and you say you are not courageous.
What a shock spider woman.