Learning About History

[vv0510_vn]

I was asked to write and essay showing my opinion about learning history in universities. Here is the topic "Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? All university students should be required to take history courses no matter what field they study in. Use specific reasons and details to support your opinion."

And here is my writing:

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In my opinon, all university students should be required to take history courses no matter what field they study in. They do not need to learn much, however, just about once a week or so. First of all, learning history helps them to know about the past. They need to understand how their country was founded and developed throughout thousands of years, how their ancestors lived and kept their country from invaders and built their own region. And of course understanding is not enough but remembering. This may be the same old story but it is really necessary since many young people today tend to be so historical apathetic. Secondly, learning history helps them to be aware of their tradition. Which is very important, especially in this period of time when folk-customs are being forgotten. In conclusion, all universities should raise awareness about folklore by requiring students to learn history.
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Can anyone correct it for me? Thanks.

[RonBee]

Say:

I was asked to write an essay expressing my opinion....

(More later.)


~R

[vv0510_vn]

Ok, I'll wait.

[RonBee]

In my opinon, all university students should be required to take history courses no matter what field they study in. They do not need to learn much, however, just about once a week or so.

Try:

In my opinion, all university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study. The classes themselves, however, only need to take place about once a week.

[RonBee]

First of all, learning history helps them to know about the past. They need to understand how their country was founded and developed throughout thousands of years, how their ancestors lived and defended their country from invaders and built their own region.

[RonBee]

Comments, suggestions, and corrections.

And of course understanding is not enough but remembering.

And, of course, understanding is not enough. It is also important to remember.

Remember what?

[RonBee]

This may be the same old story but it is really necessary since many young people today tend to be so historical apathetic.

[RonBee]

Secondly, learning history helps them to be aware of their tradition. Which is very important, especially in this period of time when folk-customs are being forgotten. In conclusion, all universities should raise awareness about folklore by requiring students to learn history.

Secondly, learning history helps them to be aware of their traditions. That is very important, especially since these days folk-customs are being forgotten. In conclusion, all universities should raise awareness about folklore by requiring students to learn history.

Are folklore and history the same thing?

[vv0510_vn]

Try:

In my opinion, all university students should be required to take history courses no matter what their field of study. The classes themselves, however, only need to take place about once a week.

So is my sentence correct? I mean the sentence '....no matter what field they study in'.

[vv0510_vn]

Comments, suggestions, and corrections.

And, of course, understanding is not enough. It is also important to remember.

Remember what?

How about writing like this:
"And, of course, understanding is not enough but also remembering what they have studied."?