need editors in editing (need replies on how i can improve

[gonghai]

When I was young, one of the most popular games that children loves to play are pogs. Pogs are small pieces of cardboard, where you are suppose to throw a slammer at; and the number of pogs that flips over the thrower gets to keep. In my opinion the game of pogs is fun because it is challenging, cheap and is fun to collect.

When I first started playing the game of pog, I only had around ten pieces of those small cardboards. It is like a game of gambling without having money involve. Three months later, I had around three hundred fifty pogs. Also, the game brings children together; for instance, you not necessary have to be playing with a friend that you know or someone around your age. In short, the game of pogs is like a competition.

When I was a child, pog was the cheapest game on the market. One pog costed around five cents to fifty cents. In comparison, (with other toys/games) a family board game cost ranges from $20 to $50. The game of pogs is affordable for children of all status class. In short, due to the cost of a pog, it attracts a lot of young children.

On one of the side of each pog there is a picture or graphic. Due to this reason, many children like to collect pogs. Similar to stamps and other collectables, pogs are enjoyable to collect and to observe. When I stopped playing pogs, I had over one thousand pogs. Once in a while, I would take them out and look at them.

In conclusion, the game of pogs is similar to pokemon card game. It is challenging and fun. In addition to that, it acts as an “interaction source cable” that brings children together.

[Tdol]

When I was young, one of the most popular games that children loved to play was pogs. Pogs are small pieces of cardboard, which you are supposed to throw a slammer at; the thrower gets to keep the number of pogs that flip over . In my opinion the game of pogs is fun because it is challenging, cheap and is fun to collect.

When I first started playing the pogs, I only had around ten of those small cardboard pieces. It is like a game of gambling without any money involved. Three months later, I had around three hundred and fifty pogs. Also, the game brings children together; for instance, you do not need to play with a friend that you know or someone around your age. In short, the game of pogs is like a competition.

When I was a child, pog was the cheapest game on the market. One pog cost from around five cents to fifty cents. In comparison, (with other toys/games) a family board game costs from $20 to $50. The game of pogs is affordable for children of all status class. In short, due to the cost of a pog, it attracts a lot of young children.

On one side of each pog there is a picture or graphic. For this reason, many children like to collect them. Like stamps and other collectables, pogs are enjoyable to collect and to observe. When I stopped playing pogs, I had over one thousand pogs. Once in a while, I would take them out and look at them.

In conclusion, the game of pogs is similar to pokemon. It is challenging and fun. In addition to that, it acts as an “interaction source cable” that brings children together.


PS What's an 'interaction source cable'?

[gonghai]

thank you for your reply
i really appreciated it :D :D

[Tdol]

You're welcome.

[jerrylou]

the introduction is good. on the end of first two body paragraphs, do not use "in short".