What about group discussions!

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by Latoof

Say:

• It took two hours for Ms Mouza to tell Latifa that her father was dead.

Or:

• It took two hours for Ms Mouza to tell Latifa that her father had died.

What is the difference between these sentences?

It's a matter of context. If there is already a question about whether he is dead or alive then (in my opinion) the first one is preferable. If he was known to be sick then the second one is preferable. On the other hand, there might not be any real difference. Possibly: "Your father was in an accident. He was badly hurt. They took him to the hospital. He died in the ER."

I would say that the first one is more likely here, but either is acceptable.

:)

Originally Posted by Latoof

Ms. Mouza looked at Latifa’s face to see her reaction, but Latifa said, “Can you check my answer, please?”

I would assume that Ms Mouza was looking at Latifa's face anyhow. How would you rephrase that to say pretty much the same thing but without "looked at"?

Ms. Mouza tried to see Latifa’s reaction, …….

• How about:
  She studied her face for her reaction.

Do you think Ms Mouza was surprised by Latifa's response?

Yes I do. Because she spent those hours to avoid hurting Latifa's feelings.

I don't think you need to mention again that Latifa is a girl. How would you rephrase "school blue uniform" so it is idiomatic English?

I don’t know!

It's a school uniform, and additionally, it's blue. That makes it a blue school uniform.

:)

Do you think the reader will wonder why Latifa's hair was covering her face?

I wanted to give her a childish look in order to convey the image of her as a child to understand such idea.
What do you think?

Hm. I don't think that works. It just makes me think that she probably can't see with her hair covering her face.

:)

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by Latoof

Say:

• It took two hours for Ms Mouza to tell Latifa that her father was dead.

Or:

• It took two hours for Ms Mouza to tell Latifa that her father had died.

What is the difference between these sentences?

It's a matter of context. If there is already a question about whether he is dead or alive then (in my opinion) the first one is preferable. If he was known to be sick then the second one is preferable. On the other hand, there might not be any real difference. Possibly: "Your father was in an accident. He was badly hurt. They took him to the hospital. He died in the ER."

I would say that the first one is more likely here, but either is acceptable.

:)

Originally Posted by Latoof

Ms. Mouza looked at Latifa’s face to see her reaction, but Latifa said, “Can you check my answer, please?”

I would assume that Ms Mouza was looking at Latifa's face anyhow. How would you rephrase that to say pretty much the same thing but without "looked at"?

Ms. Mouza tried to see Latifa’s reaction, …….

• How about:
  She studied her face for her reaction.

Do you think Ms Mouza was surprised by Latifa's response?

Yes I do. Because she spent those hours to avoid hurting Latifa's feelings.

I don't think you need to mention again that Latifa is a girl. How would you rephrase "school blue uniform" so it is idiomatic English?

I don’t know!

It's a school uniform, and additionally, it's blue. That makes it a blue school uniform.

:)

Do you think the reader will wonder why Latifa's hair was covering her face?

I wanted to give her a childish look in order to convey the image of her as a child to understand such idea.
What do you think?

Hm. I don't think that works. It just makes me think that she probably can't see with her hair covering her face.

:)

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by Latoof

That is simply wonderful. I think I had a problem in expressing the ideas in a good concise English, as one of my teacher has said.

Say:

• one of my teachers

:)

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by Latoof

That is simply wonderful. I think I had a problem in expressing the ideas in a good concise English, as one of my teacher has said.

Say:

• one of my teachers

:)

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by Latoof

("At the recent time" is not an English expression.)


Can I say at the present time?

You can say "recently" to talk about something that happened in the recent past. Or say "at that time" to talk about something that happened in the more distant past.

:)

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by Latoof

("At the recent time" is not an English expression.)


Can I say at the present time?

You can say "recently" to talk about something that happened in the recent past. Or say "at that time" to talk about something that happened in the more distant past.

:)

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by Latoof

That one is a little confusing, and it is not exactly idiomatic English. (A "from" almost always has to have a "to" connected to it. Also, you can meet somebody by a classroom but not by a class.)

I meant here the time period. When I started the story I said that Latifa went to the library and she did not want to be late; this lecture was the reason. It is Ron's lecture.


How would you change "British married teacher" to make it idiomatic English?

I may delete the nationality and say that he was married. May I say, “He was a married teacher”?

Yes.

:)

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by Latoof

That one is a little confusing, and it is not exactly idiomatic English. (A "from" almost always has to have a "to" connected to it. Also, you can meet somebody by a classroom but not by a class.)

I meant here the time period. When I started the story I said that Latifa went to the library and she did not want to be late; this lecture was the reason. It is Ron's lecture.


How would you change "British married teacher" to make it idiomatic English?

I may delete the nationality and say that he was married. May I say, “He was a married teacher”?

Yes.

:)

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by Latoof

Latifa was so attracted to her teacher. She found in him the person who can fill the gap of her father absence.

Perhaps:

• Latifa was very attracted to her teacher. She found in him the person who could fill the gap of her father's absence.

Originally Posted by Latoof

The whole group was attracted to this kind teacher, as the same was he. He had no suns or daughters and so we can understand the two sides’ feelings.

Perhaps:

• The whole group was attracted to this kind teacher, and he felt close to them. He had no sons or daughters, and he regarded them much as if they were his children.

Originally Posted by Latoof

Mr. Ron knew belatedly that Latifa was an orphan.

I don't think "belatedly" works very well there. Perhaps:

• Mr. Ron had known Latifa for a long time before he found out she was an orphan.

Originally Posted by Latoof

At the beginning he allowed her to send him messages via the e-mail. Latifa was so happy as she was able to keep in touch with her kind teacher. However, she started to feel jealous of the rest of the group as they also were allowed to send him e-mails.

That's good! I have just a couple of suggestions. In the first sentence, delete "the" from "via the email"; in the second sentence, say "very happy" instead of "so happy".

Originally Posted by Latoof

Reem noticed the changes on Latifa’s character toward her.

Say:

• Reem noticed the changes in Latifa's attitude toward her.

Or:

• Reem noticed the changes in Latifa's character.

Originally Posted by Latoof

Reem talked to Latifa and asked her once a question, which was the access to Latifa’s feeling toward Mr. Ron.

Try:

• Once when Reem talked to Latifa she asked Latifa about her feelings toward Mr. Ron.

Originally Posted by Latoof

Latifa answered Reem question, which was why do she want to have another course with Mr. Ron?

Say:

• Latifa answered Reem's question, which was about why she wanted to have another course with Mr. Ron.

What do you think?

:)

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by Latoof

Latifa was so attracted to her teacher. She found in him the person who can fill the gap of her father absence.

Perhaps:

• Latifa was very attracted to her teacher. She found in him the person who could fill the gap of her father's absence.

Originally Posted by Latoof

The whole group was attracted to this kind teacher, as the same was he. He had no suns or daughters and so we can understand the two sides’ feelings.

Perhaps:

• The whole group was attracted to this kind teacher, and he felt close to them. He had no sons or daughters, and he regarded them much as if they were his children.

Originally Posted by Latoof

Mr. Ron knew belatedly that Latifa was an orphan.

I don't think "belatedly" works very well there. Perhaps:

• Mr. Ron had known Latifa for a long time before he found out she was an orphan.

Originally Posted by Latoof

At the beginning he allowed her to send him messages via the e-mail. Latifa was so happy as she was able to keep in touch with her kind teacher. However, she started to feel jealous of the rest of the group as they also were allowed to send him e-mails.

That's good! I have just a couple of suggestions. In the first sentence, delete "the" from "via the email"; in the second sentence, say "very happy" instead of "so happy".

Originally Posted by Latoof

Reem noticed the changes on Latifa’s character toward her.

Say:

• Reem noticed the changes in Latifa's attitude toward her.

Or:

• Reem noticed the changes in Latifa's character.

Originally Posted by Latoof

Reem talked to Latifa and asked her once a question, which was the access to Latifa’s feeling toward Mr. Ron.

Try:

• Once when Reem talked to Latifa she asked Latifa about her feelings toward Mr. Ron.

Originally Posted by Latoof

Latifa answered Reem question, which was why do she want to have another course with Mr. Ron?

Say:

• Latifa answered Reem's question, which was about why she wanted to have another course with Mr. Ron.

What do you think?

:)