Twenty years old. My heart throbbed because of expectation of becoming an adult and everything seemed to go as expected. Everything I had was so happy. In new society, meeting new people and learning new things. I was so addicted to those things that I seemed to sneak away to what I had to do and had to shoulder. At that time, I used to hear that you are lucky to need not worry. I really was a blank sheet there was not a spot.
Suddenly, I felt that something heavy was located at the corner of my heart. I should have looked into my mind a little more early. When I was twenty-one years old, first I seriously thought about my future and my dream. Till then, nobody told me I was wrong I didnít think what I really want. I had done nothing but given things to me. So everyone told me you are nice. Well done. But, in conclusion, I was a person with no dream.
Everything was dizzily entangled and I perceived the truth I have to untie the strings. Little by little, I had to ready for something and accomplish. But two words, I felt responsibility and future for the first time, felt as if camelís back. I didnít know in teenager. Nobody teach me about that seriously. Everything was confused and unexpected. I shed tears more than I had ever shed tears. I thought many things more than what I had thought from my whole life.
Future, it must come and I must undergo it, weighed heavily on my mind. And I can understand the mental pressure get heavier as I grow older. But I should not get jammed to that. So I think that get rid of negative thought. Letís think. I must realize rather than it will probably do. Though everything is still dark, hold the rein over my mind and donít run away, donít give up.