Forum newsfeeds
Forum Newsfeeds


Sites for Teachers

Sites for Teachers


Go Back   UsingEnglish.com ESL Forum > Learning English > Editing & Writing Topics

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 17-Dec-2007, 09:10
Newbie
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Country: Vana
Posts: 2
Current Location: V
First Language: Han
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
lee_vlem is on a distinguished road
Smile Please help my writing

Hello, this little story is made up by the following phases:

be determined by  
have something to do with  
be central to sth.   
in contrast   
due to  
be deprived of

Please help me correct it. Thanks a million!
The story is :


This terrible cosequence is due to the bad weather. When will rain is determined by the nature. Abudant rainfail is central to crops to grow on nicely. In contrast, if there is no regual precipitation, farmers life will be took a bad knock. The farmers were deprived of all the rights by harsh policy. And this is the worse thing can even destroy their life completely.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 19-Dec-2007, 02:46
Newbie
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Country: Vana
Posts: 2
Current Location: V
First Language: Han
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
lee_vlem is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Please help my writing

Why nobody can help me?
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 22-Dec-2007, 04:26
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Country: Greece
Posts: 82
Current Location: Xanthi, Greece
First Language: Greek
Thanks: 0
Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post
aggelos is on a distinguished road
Default Re: Please help my writing

Corrections in bold.
Words in red: omit (leave out).

This terrible consequence is due to the* bad weather. When it will rain/it rains is determined by the nature. Abudant rainfall is central to crops to grow on nicely. In contrast, if there is no regular precipitation, farmers' life will be take a bad knock. The farmers were deprived of all their rights by harsh policy. And this is the worst thing, which can even destroy their lives completely.

*the: if you mean some known period of bad weather, for example the bad weather that destroyed this year's crops, then use 'the'. If you mean bad weather in general, don't use anything.

You write well, but you need to work on a few things before you can write much better.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Where to start improving my English writing Callisto Ask a Teacher 4 14-Jun-2008 07:07
How the Creative Writing Process Works huda23 Teaching English 2 17-May-2008 01:37
editing hashem Editing & Writing Topics 2 14-Jan-2008 23:52
English for Business: teaching writing online gwynedd_owen Teaching English 4 17-Aug-2005 13:00
how can we make writing subject more interesting? Anonymous Ask a Teacher 2 18-Mar-2004 08:41


New To Site? Need Help?

All times are GMT. The time now is 03:21.


vBulletin, Copyright ©2000 - 2008, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.2.0 RC5
Copyright © 2002 - 2008 UsingEnglish.com