my erasmus intention/application letter needs help

[evil nymph]

here is my letter of intention for erasmus program . I feel like something missing and I should add something more. ( hopefully I submitted this in a right way .)
thanks for helping and editting

I am writing to apply for a Socrates/ Erasmus program for the 2008-2009 educational year . I am currently studying at the Okan University in The Economics & Administrative Sciences in Management Department in the 4th semester.

One of the main reasons I wish to study abroad is that this Program would enable me to study administrative science courses in a different country and make reference and comparision a different country's national sector and the markets with my country .

Another reason for studying abroad is to learn a new language by immersing myself in the daily life of the country to achieve an international and intercultural education especially in a non-English speaking country like Germany and also improve my English. I believe that there is no better language laboratory than the country itself, and that speaking another languages is a gained work experience and essential to operate in different cultures .

Living and studying abroad has benefits that I could not achieve by a short visit alone. It will allow me to make wider my perspective and contribute to my personal development by expanding my knowledge and widening my experience in a variety of academic disciplines.

Thank you for your attention

yours faithfully,

[Anglika]

Welcome to the forums.

Originally Posted by evil nymph

here is my letter of intention for an Erasmus program . I feel like something missing and I should add something more. ( hopefully I submitted this in a right way .)
Thanks for helping and editing

I am writing to apply for a Socrates/ Erasmus program for the 2008-2009 educational year. I am currently studying Economics & Administrative Sciences in Management at Okan University and am in my 4th semester.

One of the main reasons I wish to study abroad is that this Program would enable me to study administrative science in a different country, and I would be able to compare another country's national sector and markets with those in my country .

Another reason for studying abroad is to learn a new language by immersing myself in the daily life of the country, to achieve an international and intercultural education, especially in a non-English speaking country like Germany, while also improving my English. I believe that there is no better language laboratory than the country itself, and that speaking another language is a gained work experience and essential if I am to work in different cultures .

Living and studying abroad has benefits that I could not achieve by a short visit alone. It will allow me to widen my perspective and contribute to my personal development by expanding my knowledge and broadening/enlarging my experience in a variety of academic disciplines.

Thank you for your attention

yours faithfully,

.

[evil nymph]

Originally Posted by Anglika

Welcome to the forums.


.

thank you so much :]