Check it please!

[jomo27]

I just attend my first day of my new school, and the teacher wants me to write an essay about myself.

So can you guys please check this out.



About Me: Well, I'm just an ordinary boy who has a been given a name Tomo. I have 2 brown eyes, 1 nose, 2 ears, 1 mouth and brown hair. I'm not quite tall and yet not short, not thin and not fat, thats why I call myself as a ordinary guy. I consider myself as a chinese-japanese-indonesian and that sounds complicated or complex. And I'm just wondering why I am born and live in this world. But anyway, I have been in this world for almost 17 years.

I like acting and dancing, and I think Im good at them. I love making jokes and weird things but people think that I'm a bit crazy or strange whenever I tell them jokes or do weird things but at least they laugh for it, and I'm glad with it. I just wanna make the situation more live and fun. I like to do everything that is related with arts. i think, in arts, you can show everyone your inside talents and skills. I like making new friendships with friens as i think friends are everything. Oneday, i will make myself as known as famous as all people know.

I do also like sports, i just do them for exercise and fun.

I think i cant write any more. and now its your turn to write for me. so, dont be hesitate to invite me as your friend and give comments.

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by jomo27

I just attend my first day of my new school, and the teacher wants me to write an essay about myself.

So can you guys please check this out.



About Me: Well, I'm just an ordinary boy who has a been given a name Tomo. I have 2 brown eyes, 1 nose, 2 ears, 1 mouth and brown hair. I'm not quite tall and yet not short, not thin and not fat, that's/that is why I call myself as a ordinary guy. I consider myself as a chinese-japanese-indonesian and that sounds complicated or complex. And I'm just wondering why I was born and live in this world. But anyway, I have been in this world for almost 17 years.

I like acting and dancing, and I think I'm/I am good at them. I love making jokes and weird things. People think that I'm a bit crazy or strange whenever I tell them jokes or do weird things but at least they laugh for it, and I'm glad with it. I just wanna {do not use this kind of slangy word in a formal exercise >> want to] make the situation more lively/alive and fun. I like to do everything that is related to the arts. I think, in arts, you can show everyone your inside [individual/personal]talents and skills. I like making new friendships with friens as I think friends are everything. One day, I will make myself as known as famous as all people know.[famous all over the world/a famous person]

I do also like sports. I just do them for exercise and fun.

I think i cant [I can't] write any more. and now its [it's/it is] your turn to write to me. so, dont be hesitate [So please don't hesitate] to invite me as [to be/to become] your friend and give comments.[comments about what?]

Capital "I" for the personal pronoun.

Capitalization on proper names of countries/nationalities.
.

[jomo27]

*Comments for my 'comments board'

[jomo27]

Are all the grammars correct?

Is it fine to say "I have 2 brown eyes, 1 nose, 1 mouth, etc..."?

and "Who has a been given name Tomo"?

[jomo27]

Forget this damn thread. I made the new one already.

Closing this thread soon.

Sorry for making you guys feel interupted.