Man of Shijiazhuang kidnaps two children

[NewHope]

Edit it please.

Man of Shijiazhuang kidnaps two children
policeman shoots him down


Today's big news from sina.com.cn


Caption for the pic: The moment when a policeman shot the kidnapper.

About 18PM Aug.17, Beijing Time, a bandit broke into an English classroom in the Women and Children Educational Activity Center of Shijiazhuang City, northeast China southwest of Beijing, and kidnapped two children with a kitchen knife.

The kidnapper, self-introducing his name as Zhang Kailin, born in 1968, of Xianning County Guizhou Province. At the beginning, he broke into
the electronic organ classroom of the center, demanded 300 yuan (35 USD) from a teacher, but got refused. Then he rushed to other classrooms, trying to break the doors down with ironware but failed. When he passed by the nearby English classroom, he found there were only two children inside. He swiftly came in and locked the door. The children kidnapped were the students of the Cambridge English class of the center. One was 9-year-old boy, and another was a 11-year-old girl. Both the boy and the girl were now extremely frightened, but were in well condition physically.
...

[NewHope]

This damned thread has been jilted?

[Tdol]

Para one- move 'with a kitchen knife' to after 'bandit', otherwise it sounds as if the children hasd the knife. I would avoid 'bandit' here- I'd use 'man'as he hasn't stood trial yet.

Para 2- 'introducing himself'
l2- in the beginning
l6- went in
l7 - one was a 9-year-old.... an 11-year-old

PS- ironware doesn't really work- what did he use- a metal bar?

[NewHope]

Yeah, a metal bar is more accurate usage there.

[Tdol]

If it's a specific tool, like the thing to force a door open, we have words like 'jemmy' and 'crowbar'.