technology VS other values

[mickey]

plz tell me ur opinions about my writing..don't hesitate to point out my grammatical mistakes or illogical reasons.
topic:we live in a technological age.However,technology cannot solve all the world's prolems.Therefore some people argue that ewe need to place less emphasis on technological solutions n more on other values.
TASK
It can be said without exaggeration that the 20th n 21st centuries r the era of technology,during which human kinds have gone through extensive changes in almost all fields.We r no longer plagued by hunger n widespread famines due to the significant changes in the agricultural technology.Tuberculosis,pneumonia etc no longer mean a "death sentence' to patients thanks to modern cures n remedies.Sitting comfortably at home,one can still do a lot of business activities.Therefore some people hold the view that,with technology in hand,we can cope with all kinds of problems.However,on the other side r those,myself included,who strongly believe that only technology accompanied by other values is the advisable antidote to current troubles.
To begin with,I'd like to give some evidences about the inability of scientists n technicians.There r no signs that the gap between the rich n the poor will be shortened,not to mention that is getting wider n wider.The poverty,the inequalities,the abuse between people still exist.I am of the opinion that,no matter how modern we r,these problems will not surely vanish unless we seek help from "other values".These values,personally,refer to traditional n spiritual ones ranging from patriotism to humanism.
One would question that how these systems of belief wil cure contemporary issues.The answer is,it is a matter of education.If we can evoke the holy emotions between people,then they will be more tolerant and generous with each other,thus nobody being abused or exploited.If we can inspire the adolescents with the flame of patriotism,they will find it their duty o study harder n try to develop their country.
For this aim to be realized,it is without doubt necessary that more moral education be given to the young generation.

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by mickey

plz tell me ur opinions about my writing..don't hesitate to point out my grammatical mistakes or illogical reasons.

topic:We live in a technological age. However,technology cannot solve all the world's problems. Therefore some people argue that you need to place less emphasis on technological solutions and more on other values.


TASK
It can be said without exaggeration that the 20th and 21st centuries are the era of technology, during which humankind has gone through extensive changes in almost all fields. We are no longer plagued by hunger and [or] widespread famines due to the significant changes in agriculture. Diseases such as tuberculosis or smallpox no longer mean a "death sentence" to patients thanks to modern cures and remedies.

Sitting comfortably at home, one can still do business activities. Therefore some people hold the view that, with technology in hand, we can cope with all kinds of problems. However, on the other side are those, myself included, who strongly believe that only technology accompanied by other values will be an effective antidote to current troubles.

To begin with, I'd like to give some evidence about the inability of scientists and technicians [Where is this evidence?]. There are no signs that the gap between the rich and the poor will be narrowed, in fact it is getting wider and wider. The poverty, the inequalities, the abuse between people still exists. I am of the opinion that, no matter how modern we are, these problems will not surely vanish unless we seek help from "other values". These values, personally, refer to traditional andspiritual ones ranging from patriotism to humanism.

One could question how these systems of belief will cure contemporary issues. The answer is that it is a matter of education. If we can evoke the holy emotions [????] between people, then they will be more tolerant and generous with each other, thus nobody would be abused or exploited. If we can inspire young people with the flame of patriotism, they will find it their duty to study harder and try to develop their country.

For this aim to be realized, it is without doubt necessary that more moral education be given to the young generation.

While you have a reasonably good grasp of English, please do not use abbreviations in material which you want checked.
Also, there should be a space following each punctuation mark.
Paragraphs will make your text a great deal clearer and easier to read.

[mickey]

Anglika, thank you very much for your correction and remarks.
About your question "where is this evidence?", I think the idea about the gap between the rich and the poor and the existence of the poverty, the exploitation of men by men, etc are the evidences for the inability of the scientists. In material terms, our life has been greatly improved thanks to their inventions. But they still can not help with the downgrade in moral standards and the emotional aspects. In my pinion the fact that people tend to take advantage of each other is really a shame, a stain. They do not pay a thought for the others' sufferings. And this is sth that scientists are, in fact, incapable.
Do u think so?

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by mickey

Anglika, thank you very much for your correction and remarks.
About your question "where is this evidence?", I think the idea about the gap between the rich and the poor and the existence of the poverty, the exploitation of men by men, etc are the evidences for the inability of the scientists. In material terms, our life has been greatly improved thanks to their inventions. But they still can not help with the downgrade in moral standards and the emotional aspects. In my pinion the fact that people tend to take advantage of each other is really a shame, a stain. They do not pay a thought for the others' sufferings. And this is sth that scientists are, in fact, incapable.
Do u think so?

The inability of scientists to do what?

It is not the moral responsibility of scientists to make sure that their discoveries and developments are properly used by society at large. That is far more the moral responsibility of both end users and those who supply them. You are putting too much onto the scientists' backs.

Poor education has much greater relevance to the growth of poverty, and to the increase in bad social relations. The moral and social responsibilities of all citizens should be instilled in them from infancy, both in the home and in the schools.