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[Flyby]

I want you to check my story i made. Please help!!

One of the best places I have ever been is Jeodo, which is located near Geojedo in Gyeongsangnam-do. Actually, this place is well-known for the villa of the Korean former president, Park Jeong Hee. So, most people are not allowed to get there although it is one of great place in Geojedo. However, two years ago, I had a chance to go there with my whole family. When my second uncle was naval officer, he had to go Jeodo once for his work. So, my family could get the opportunity of visiting there by his help. Geojedo is not far from where I live, it takes only about one hour. Jeodo is an island, so we went there by boat. As arriving on the island, I got really fascinated and excited. The island covered with big and various kinds of trees was like a small village. There was not only a golf course equipped with a great fountain or gymnasium but also a small tower on the center of the island. The tower is called Chung Hae Dae. It is a sort of small house high on the island, so we could see all of the scenic parts of Jeodo in that place. However the most beautiful place was the beach. Particularly, the sand on the beach was almost white and so soft that my cousins and I spent much of time going around there barefoot. When all people arrived, a serviceman guided my family around the island, and one of the interesting stories I heard is that cicadas had been raised by the president’s order. After knowing that there were not cicadas on the island, the president made serviceman catch a lot of cicadas in other areas and free them in Jeodo. So, there were really so many cicadas that most of the places were a little noisy. After we visited all of the great places, my whole families enjoyed our lunch we prepared. Then my parents and relatives played a round of golf there, while my cousins and I spent time on the beach making a sand castle or playing in water. Although I really wanted to spend a lot of time there, we are not allowed to stay more than a day. So I had to leave Jeodo in the afternoon with my family. It has still remained as a great memory to me, so I hope to go Jeodo again with my friends next time.

[Anglika]

Originally Posted by Flyby

I want you to check my story i made. Please help!!

One of the best places I have ever been is Jeodo, which is located near Geojedo in Gyeongsangnam-do. Actually, this place is well-known for the villa of the Korean former president, Park Jeong Hee. So most people are not allowed to go there although it is one of the great places in Geojedo. However, two years ago, I had a chance to go there with my whole family. When my second uncle was a naval officer, he had to go to Jeodo once for his work. So, my family had the opportunity of visiting there with his help. Geojedo is not far from where I live; it takes only about one hour. Jeodo is an island, so we went there by boat.

On arriving on the island, I was really fascinated and excited. The island is covered with many big and varied trees. There was not only a golf course equipped with a great fountain or gymnasium but also a small tower on the center of the island. The tower is called Chung Hae Dae. It is a sort of small house high on the island, so we could see all of the scenic parts of Jeodo from there. However the most beautiful place was the beach. Particularly the sand on the beach,which was almost white and so soft that my cousins and I spent much time going around there barefoot. When everyone had arrived, a serviceman guided my family around the island, and one of the interesting stories I heard is that cicadas had been raised by the president’s order. After discovering/finding out that there were no cicadas on the island, the president made serviceman catch a lot of cicadas in other areas and free them in Jeodo. As a result, there were really so many cicadas that most of the places were a little noisy.

After we visited all of the great places, my whole family enjoyed the lunch we had prepared. Then my parents and relatives played a round of golf while my cousins and I spent time on the beach making a sand castle or playing in the water. Although I really wanted to spend a lot of time there, we are not allowed to stay more than a day. So I had to leave Jeodo in the afternoon with my family. It has still remained as a great memory to me, and I hope to go Jeodo again, with my friends next time.

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