Can anyone help with this formal letter.

[wangy9]

Dear Dr J R,

I am writing concerned with application for mathematics in B University.
During last 4 years, I have completed a course with AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERING in C University. I have been awarded the degree of Bachelor of Engineering with Honours Lower Second Class.

Mathematics is related to Engineering, Finance, etc. People keep discovering the subject, and find something interesting, for example stories, questions and answers, theories. They are attractive.

It is possible that have an appointment for discussing the subject and matriculation, please.
Thanks very much.

Yours Faithfully

[amy270]

Dear Dr J R,

I write to you in regard to applying for mathematics in B University.

During the last four years, I have completed a course with AUTOMOTIVE ENGINEERING in C University. I have been awarded the degree of Bachelor of Engineering with Honours Lower Second Class.

The aspects that I enjoy about mathematics are its relationship to engineering and finance. The stories, questions, answers and theories that are continually discovered are what stimulates me.

I was wondering if it is possible to make an appointment to discuss the subjects and matriculation. If so, please let me know which time suits you.

Thank you for your attention. I look forward to your contact.

Yours Faithfully

Hope this helps!

[amy270]

A further note -

The aspects that I enjoy about mathematics are its relationship to engineering and finance. The stories, questions, answers and theories that are continually discovered are what stimulates me.

1st line - sorry, that should be 'relationships' plural.Hope this helps!