Composition - pls. look through for mistakes

[popsie]

Question
In your English class you have been doing a project on young people and their health in your country. Your teacher has asked you to write your response to the following statement taken from a recent newspaper article:

Research shows that young people today are not as healthy as they were twenty years ago. Why is this and can we do anything about it?

Young people are getting fatter
In today’s world, obesity has become a big problem for children in the Czech Republik. Young people are getting heavier in connection with changing lifestyle. School-age children with obesity have many problems, both physically and mentally.

Some people claim that the main reason for change may be due to lack of time to exercise. Most of young people spends their leisure time playing games on PC instead of studying or doing something else. Furthermore, doing sport is generally less popular and as well as some sports are quite expensive. Other people believe that the biggest problem is that children eat to much junk food. Compared to 20 years ago, now young people eat less fruit and vegetables.

To sum up, it seems to me that it is really necessary to try to encourage people to do cheap forms of exercises, e.g. running, playing football or swimming. In addition to improve their diet.

[Svaneska]

Young people are getting fatter
In today’s world, obesity has become a big problem for children in the Czech Republic. Young people are getting heavier/fatter in connection/consequence of a/with changing lifestyle. School-age children with obesity have many problems, both physically and mentally.

Some people claim that the main reason for this change may be due to a lack of time for/to exercise. Most young people spend their leisure time playing games on their computers instead of engaging in outdoor activities/pursuits /instead of studying or doing something else. Furthermore, doing sport is generally less popular and some sports are quite expensive. Other people believe that the biggest problem is that children eat too much junk food. Compared to 20 years ago young people today eat less fruit and vegetables.

To sum up, it seems to me that it is really necessary to encourage people to do cheap forms of exercise, e.g. running, playing football or swimming, in addition to improving their diet.

[popsie]

Hi Svaneska,

thanks a lot for your word suggestions.