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Old 16-Apr-2008, 14:14
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Unhappy Could you help me this short essay? (recount)

Hi everyone, i have never recounted because i do not know how to

write a recount? so i try to recount about Jack Rocco

Could you help me correct or modify it...Thank so much

He was born in Toronto, Canada in 1890. However, his parents come
from Italy. His parents had a jazz cafe so he keen on about music during
his childhood. At the age of 10, he began collecting records and he crazy
about jazz, rock and blues. In 1995, he helped his family out at family
cafe.

At that time he met local musicians and performers.
When he was 18 years old, he left school and he opened the CD shop
above parent’s cafe and he joined band ‘The Blues Boys’. Two years
later, he borrowed money from parents for opened the second CD shop in
down town Toronto. Several months, ‘The Blues Boys’ recorded their first
CD at home studio and they distributed through the Internet.

In 2002, he had a lot of experience about record and manager in show
business, so he established band management company JH Music and
recording studio in Toronto with younger sister and business partner
Jane. In 2003, independent record label JHM. Over the following three
years, he opened new branches of JH Music stores in Ottawa, Montreal
and Edmonton in Toronto.

He won a prize ‘Young Entrepreneur of the Year’ in 2006 after that he
opened the JH music stores in Los Angeles, California. At the moment,
his plan to focus on management of new Canadian bands and he is going
to expand of JHM record label to include international acts form the USA
and Europe
  #2  
Old 16-Apr-2008, 14:54
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Default Re: Could you help me this short essay? (recount)

Quote:
Originally Posted by kid101 View Post
Hi everyone, i have never recounted because i do not know how to

write a recount? so i try to recount about Jack Rocco

Could you help me correct or modify it...Thank so much

He was born in Toronto, Canada, in 1890.??? However, his parents come past tense required from Italy. His parents had a jazz cafe so he became keen on about [either "on" or "about", not both] music during his childhood. At the age of 10, he began collecting records and he was crazy about jazz, rock and blues. In 1995, he helped his family out at the family cafe.

At that time he met local musicians and performers.
When he was 18 years old, he left school, opened a CD shop above his parents' cafe and he joined a band ‘The Blues Boys’. Two years later, he borrowed money from his parents to open a second CD shop in downtown Toronto. Several months later, ‘The Blues Boys’ recorded their first CD which they distributed through the Internet.

By 2002, he had a lot of experience about recording and managing in show business, so he established a band management company JH Music with a recording studio in Toronto, together with a younger sister and a business partner, Jane.[ two people or one person? In 2003, he launched an independent record label, JHM. Over the following three years, he opened new branches of JH Music stores in Ottawa, Montreal and Edmonton in Toronto.

He won a prize as ‘Young Entrepreneur of the Year’ in 2006. After that he opened the JH music stores in Los Angeles, California. At the moment, his plan is to focus on management of new Canadian bands and he is going to expand the JHM record label to include international acts from the USA and Europe
You recount a story = tell a story
He recounted his holiday adventure = he described his holiday adventure
Recount the life of Jack Rocco = describe / tell about the life of Jack Rocco.
  #3  
Old 16-Apr-2008, 15:06
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Default Re: Could you help me this short essay? (recount)

Thank u so much...have a nice day
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